Teen characteristics -
Dating violence indicators
As a parent, you may be able to anticipate violence in your teenager's relationship if you understand that how your teenager feels about herself contributes to whether she becomes a victim. Dating violence can happen to anyone no matter who they are and no matter how they feel about themselves, but personality traits in teens can also be indicators.
Please note: Due to the majority of victims being young women and the perpetrators being young men, the following pages will use the applicable pronouns. This is not to say that men are not victims and women are not abusers. This is simply the reported statistical difference. Women are more often the victim and men are more often the perpetrator.
Common personality traits that can make a teenager a victim:
- Believes she is responsible for how other people feel
- Believes it is her responsibility to fix other people / make other people happy (a people pleaser)
- Does not like confrontation
- Does not like arguing
- Is a follower, not a leader
- Gives in to peer pressure / is strongly influenced by peers
- Does not easily ask for help, especially from adults
- Does not easily talk with adults
Specifically, within the context of a relationship, a teen might believe:
- Jealous and controlling behaviors on the part of her boyfriend are romantic gestures (means he loves her more)
- She is responsible for his behavior
- She can fix him
- It is her responsibility to fix any problems in the relationship (while he sits back and does nothing)
- Abuse in relationships is normal (either because her friends are in abusive relationships, or mom is in one)
Please return to the list for more indicators that your teenager is being abused.
If you found this article helpful, please see information on jealousy, the link between animal cruelty and violence toward people and tips for breaking off an unhealthy relationship.
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