Telling your teenager to be careful and don't be late will probably have unintended consequences that most parents don't think about.
If you have discussed curfew ahead of time, there is no problem reiterating the curfew with a comment like, “See you by 11pm.” Saying, “Don’t be late,” sends the message to your teenager that you expect her to be late. This tells her you don’t trust her and you have no confidence in her to be responsible.
Same with “be careful.” Your teenager knows after all these years that you want her to be safe. Constantly reminding her to be careful sends the message that you don’t trust her to do what she needs to do to keep herself safe. Some parents feel like this is a phrase that sends the message that parents care and love their child. But with teenagers it is the exact opposite. They feel stupid.
So talk about curfews and safety precautions before your teenager goes out, and then trust that she will do what’s right.
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