It would be a nice fantasy to say the adult’s role is all that is needed, but the best and the worst news is that the adult’s part is the easiest. Your teen’s task is much harder.
Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Adolescents must look to themselves and learn to recognize behaviors, thoughts, and patterns that are correlated to their childhood abuse. No, the abuse is not their fault, but their subsequent actions are. This may sound cruel, but sometimes the truth does hurt. The statistics reveal that a high percentage of hard core criminals (including pedophiles) began their life style without a conscious knowledge of the correlation between childhood abuse and their actions. It started with a subconscious effort to regain the control they lost as a child.
The healing process for your teen is a long hard road with no final destination. With the right support and encouragement from you, it may be possible for your teen to sit in the driver’s seat rather than being left to trudge barefoot on the scorching pavement.
The first step is to identify and admit that the abuse happened; it wasn’t a bad dream or a figment of the imagination. This may be more difficult for boys than it is for girls.
The next step, the process between recognizing the abuse to owning accountability of how the abuse affects the teen’s thoughts and actions, could take years.
The final step to mending will take a lifetime. This is the step in which the victim turns into a Survivor. It is the most difficult step for both the Survivor and his or her loved ones. It is the realization that no matter how much “healing”, therapy, or “closure” he or she may work through, the damage is permanent. Just like the paraplegic that cannot ignore the chair, your teen must accept and learn to work with the psychological handicap, rather than around it.
Your teen will be influenced to some degree by that traumatic event in every decision he or she makes, every perception, every action. There is no escape. There is only acceptance and understanding. Being able to take a moment’s pause and recognize that his or her thoughts are being influenced, and then to reevaluate the situation with that knowledge in hand, is the true freedom of a Survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
To be continued...
For more info: Sound of Silence
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The Let Go...Let Peace Come In Foundation is a newly formed nonprofit with a mission to help heal and support adult survivors of childhood sexual abuse worldwide. We are actively seeking adult survivors who would be willing to post a childhood photo and caption, their story, or their creative expressions to our website www.letgoletpeacecomein.org. We need to "show" the world that we will no longer be silenced and that there are enough of us to make a difference. By uniting survivors from across the globe we can help provide a stronger and more powerful voice to those survivors who have not yet found the courage to speak out. Together we can; together we should; together we NEED to stand up and be counted. Please visit our site for more details on how you can send us your submissions.
Gretchen Paules
Administrative Director
Let Go...Let Peace Come In Foundation
111 Presidential Blvd., Suite 212
Bala Cynwyd, PA 19004
that's never really happened to me before, but it has to someone i know. i never really thought of this process though... have to proose it to them.
Kitten,
I hope you have a good relationship with your parents or an adult at school. This is important because if your friends are coming to you for comfort, you will need someone you can talk to about the things your friends are telling you. This will help you with your own feelings about what your friends are telling you and it will help you to get an adult's perspective before giving your friends advice. (Not to mention your parents or the grown-up you trust needs to be aware of the things you are being exposed to in order to support you through your own problems and situations)
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