The Lost Art of Seduction

 

Seduction has gotten a bad rap.

Over the years seduction has mostly been associated with manipulation and coercion. But seduction is truly an art. The most effective way to seduce your lover (or lover to be), is to first and foremost be yourself. Now you might be thinking that you aren’t sexy enough, or pretty enough or ??? enough to seduce anyone. But believe me, seduction is not so much about how you look as it is about how you feel about yourself and how you use to your advantage your best qualities. Some of the most successful and famous seductresses of our time have been women who just learned how to make the best of what they had.

This can apply to men as well. Men, you don’t have to be super good looking, suave or sophisticated to woo the woman you desire. A great sense of humor or the true gentlemen emerging might just be the thing that sweeps her off her feet. Again, find what your best traits are and then showcase them.

We have all seen those movies where the woman asks the man if he is trying to seduce her and then she smiles and says, it is working. This may happen in a movie but in real life for seduction to be really effective it can’t be obvious. Seduction is at its best when the person being seduced doesn’t really know it until after the deed is done.

So what do I mean when I say you are at your most seductive when you are truly just being your most charming self?  I mean that when you allow yourself to first recognize your special qualities the things that your friends like about you or that your partner has commented on as what he loves about you the most. Then the next time you are around that person that you would like to entice or capture their attention just radiate those very unique qualities that make you shine. Men often say that the quality that most turns them on in a woman is self confidence and independence. In all the research that was done by Allison Armstrong, the founder of  Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women  workshops, not one of the men that were part of her workshop panel said that they felt a woman’s looks were what turned them on the most. Real men want real women, and real women want real men.

In the Art of Seduction there are a few more things to be aware of::
 

• Be attentive to the way you look - You don’t have to overdo it, but do dress in something that shows off your best qualities. If you don’t wear make-up (women) then try wearing some. Especially these days when there are so many mineral based products to choose from. Enhance your eyes or lips or waist or ???? Wear a few drops of your favorite scent a wonderful perfume or essential oil if you can. Find the best colors for your skin tone. This goes for men too. Discover what your style is and what flatters your build, coloring, etc. Try a subtle but delicious cologne.

• Feel good about yourself – You can’t feel sexy or turned-on if you are feeling sad or depressed. So before you go on that date with your sweetie or to that party feel good about yourself and be in love with yourself first. Remember that when you are with him or her the energy you exude is what will draw them in. Be confident but not cocky. Your sexiness will come through when you are radiating your loving energy as a woman or your powerful presence as a man.

• Learn how to flirt - Seduction often involves being a bit flirtatious and so learning how to tease, with your body language, eyes, smile, and even your words can make all the difference in successfully seducing your chosen one. Try taking a workshop on flirting to brush up with Franchesca Gentille on Concious Flirting.

• Be true to yourself – Don’t try to imitate someone else’s way of being seductive. If you love to dance and you are in your home then wearing something very sexy and dancing for your lover would be the thing to do. If you are a brilliant conversationalist or someone who likes to make people laugh then allow that to show-up.

In Tantra everything you do is considered a sacred act of love. Seduction is an art so once again it takes practice. It is a learned skill and very few people are born with it. Part of being a person that is really confident in playing this way is also someone who is comfortable in their body and with their sensuality. Remember to ground your energy first, breathe deeply and become the god or goddess incarnate as you walk into the room and watch what happens.

For a some good reads on the Art of Seduction try:  Seductress, Women who Ravished the World and Their Lost Art of Love, Betsy Prioleau and Redefining Seduction, Sheehan and Paul Reffell.