Homeschoolers can socialize

 

What about socialization? That is the most often asked question when homeschoolers tell others of their educational choice. It is usually assumed that by not sending children to school parents are depriving them of any and all social interaction. We must be keeping them locked up behind closed doors, afraid to participate in the real world, right? Well, in a word, “wrong”.

In actuality, nothing could be further from the truth. Not having to spend six to eight hours a day in a school institution, homeschooled children have more opportunity to explore and experience the outside world. They often accompany their parents on various errands and in so doing encounter all kinds of people with whom to converse. These experiences, in turn, lead to a naturalness in communication that cannot be taught in a classroom setting. Rather than only talking with their same age peers during certain prescribed times of socialization (perhaps lunchtime or, if it still exists, recess), homeschooled children interact whenever the situation presents itself. Also, they do not have the learned fear of adults that so many school children develop, afraid to look a teacher in the eye or raise a question in class.

Homeschoolers like talking to adults who like talking to them. For example, my son developed an ongoing friendship with one of the clerks at the grocery store based on their mutual affection for baseball. This senior-citizen Yankee fan took great pleasure in challenging my Boston Red Sox enthusiast son every time he saw us in the store. It became a running joke between them and continued right on through the World Series that year (which the Sox won, by the way) when the gentleman went out of his way to shake my son’s hand in congratulations. One interesting point is that I had nothing to do with this relationship; it belonged to my son. He had the confidence and interest to carry it on his own.

Not only are homeschoolers more comfortable with the adults around them, they are also quite open to friendships with kids of all ages. It is not imperative that they share the same class, eat at the same lunch table, or even be in the same grade in order to be friends. The only criteria that matter are an interest in each other and the opportunity to get together. Homeschoolers don’t always ask about age or grade right away; it doesn’t concern them in the same way it does school kids. It is o.k. to be friends with someone younger or older, bigger or smaller. The rigidity of school gone, they can just talk, play, or spend time doing nothing as they get to know one another. I have seen girls as young as four at our homeschool group’s park day seek out and receive the friendship of older pre-teen girls. There is no unspoken stigma to socializing outside your school group.

So, when I hear that same old, tired question raised, I just shake my head or laugh at the ignorance of those who think children can only learn social skills in a school setting where they are rarely allowed to talk and have little interaction with others outside their classroom. I simply wish they could have witnessed the scene I did at our state’s annual homeschool convention a couple of years ago: My two children joined in an ongoing volleyball game at the sponsoring hotel in which all ages were playing. As the afternoon progressed, players entered and left the court; some knew each other, others were strangers. Most had a loose grip on the rules of play, but some of the younger participants had no real idea, and through the entire two hours my two kids enjoyed themselves, I watched in amazement as each and every person welcomed and included any and all who wanted to join the fun. Here was an impromptu gathering of homeschoolers, participating perfectly well together, with no instructions, no referee or guide to tell them what to do, and no problem having a wonderful time with the people around them. I think the socialization question can safely be laid to rest.