Lane Kiffin laughs all the way west at Tennessee suckers

There’s a sigh of relief being heard around the corridors of NBC today.

Someone else has taken the lead as a powerful organization exposed for a boneheaded maneuver.

And what has happened at the University of Tennessee would make for a great sitcom.

Lane Kiffin spends one year proving how deceitful,immature and accidentally comic a 34-year-old man can be. He then wads up a mutant size hairball of expectorate, spits it liberally and almost with glee at everyone in Tennessee who lauded him as their wunderkind savior, and completes his manipulation of UT by nailing his dream job at a substantial profit.

The evidence is glaring. Kiffin never meant to stay one second longer at Tennessee than he had to. His level of commitment to this program was comparable to NBC’s watermark with Conan O’Brien.

During his mouthy and often boorish season at Tennessee, Kiffin was determined to prove that not only was he something of a genius, but that his brash style would turn the SEC upside down and teach everyone around the country how backward these pigskin rednecks were.

He shot off his mouth to the level of unintentional comedy and embarrassed the Volunteers much more than himself. Little will stick to him from this experience because buffoons are often given the benefit of a doubt when it comes to self-immolation.

Dozens of good friends in the SEC repeated to me more than a few very funny and exceptionally insulting jokes about Kiffin and his methods. Granted, when you reach this rareified coaching air, you learn to take the jabs with a smug pride. After all, your critics and opponents wouldn’t be making fun of you unless they were jealous or fearful of what you might accomplish.

Or the third choice would be because those peers knew you wouldn’t last for one glaring reason.

You weren’t very good at your job. It didn’t take a Mensa graduate to record that conclusion.

And It took even less time to realize the only way Kiffin got the job in the first place was by pulling off a master sleight of hand. Convincing a gullible and attention-starved Administration he was the guy who would surrender himself to the effort. To dig in for the long haul and repay all of the confidence and faith people were placing in him.

This of course includes what we all know is the single greatest sporting lie since the East German female swimmers swore they weren’t taking steroids. Statements made while they were shaving off a five o’clock shadow and buying athletic cups.

That he was making a promise to the players. The kids who sold their collective souls to a dream and were convinced he was the one to at the very least give that dream a slight chance of coming true. The ones who with or without talent dropped every ounce of their sweat when asked and demanded they do so. The recruits who, like so many more at so many other schools over the seasons, sat in their living rooms and fell for a snake oil pitch of commitment.

And who now will be punished by the NCAA and be forced to sit out an entire year for making a decision based on lies and obfuscation by a guy now cashing fat checks elsewhere.

Don’t forget Kiffin is the genius that said he took NCAA investigations of his recruiting practices as a compliment. And he made the statement with a straight face.

But perhaps this was that one instance where taking the fast route out of town was more than the fiscally attractive thing to do. It was the right thing to do.

Not the Kiffin. For the University of Tennessee.

Those who make such decisions in Knoxville will never admit it publicly, but they are the ones who brought ridicule upon the football program and everyone connected with it. They hired a man to run a multi-million dollar business in one of the most competitive environments in their industry by overlooking all the negatives that came with it. They were bamboozled by the bright lights of his coaching pedigree, those NFL gigs on his resume, and the belief that he was the one who would bring hard work and honest commitment to this job.

And do all this with at least a modicum of integrity and professionalism.

What they got instead was a black hole of buffoonery.

Already leaking out of the hallowed orange halls is the obvious reason why Kiffin not only bolted so fast for the farthest place from Tennessee he could find, but why the University allowed him to hold a press conference on school grounds the evening of his escape.

They could not wait to separate themselves from this Rocky Top ruination.

Don’t be surprised at all if down the road we hear stories about how someone high up the Tennessee food chain called a counterpart at USC and asked what it would take to make the deal happen.

Release from the contract as quickly as possible? No problem. Throw in a set of Ginsu steak knives and a year’s supply of hickory-smoked wood for your next barbecue? Done. Pick of the next litter from “Smokey IX”? We’ll even throw in the veterinarian fees.

Kiffin had to cough up $800,000 as a penalty for leaving, and UT can start over again by repairing the ridicule heaped upon them by what could go down in NCAA history as the worst coaching hire since Charlie Weis nailed the fiscal buffet table in South Bend, Indiana.

Tennessee deserves better. The SEC demands better. The fans and especially the players deserve much more cogent and intelligent thought from those in charge.

The deserve someone who comes to work without a clown nose in his briefcase.

And Athletic Administration leaders who don't supply one at the door.