I used to coach women who wanted to learn about football, but not to play. Oh no, they just wanted to watch.

Some were tired of being a football widow for five months a year. Others realized the allure of a woman who didn't think watching a game was a waste of time.

Before you go on a rant that I was helping them fake it, let me assure you they were dead serious about it all. Their problem was finding someone to break it down and not think they were stupid when they asked some simple questions.

The rules were tough enough to learn but it was the sports lingo that drove them crazy. I put together a list of words and phrases for them. Here's a sampling:

Red Zone: No it's not the Old Spice deodorant. It's the area on the field between the 20 yard line and the end zone. Scoring for your team when they are in the Red Zone is a stat by which you are measured if you are a quarterback or a running back. Fantasy football geeks (like me) look at red zone stats to pick players for our teams. And you can bet that player agents use red zone scoring information to negotiate a new deal for their clients.

Split the uprights: When the place kicker launches a football towards the goal posts and it sails through in the dead center. Field goals and points after touchdowns are capable of splitting the uprights.

North-South runner: When a running back gains yardage by going through the defense stacked on the line of scrimmage without veering off to the right or left. Sometimes called a between-the-tackles runner.

Play Action pass: After the snap of the ball into the hands of the quarterback, he will fake handing it off to the running back and throw the ball down field.

Check Down: A quarterback has multiple options to receive a pass. If his first choice is covered or not in the right place on the field, he looks for his second choice and then his third. Usually, the check down pass ends up in the hands of a running back who wasn't intended to be the recipient.

Two Minute Drill: With two minutes left on the game clock and in need of a score to win or tie the game, the offense hurries through the plays, sometimes not using the huddle to decide which play to execute. It also means that plays are designed to have the ball in the hands of a player that is close to the sidelines. When he steps out of bounds the clock is stopped.