Although there are reports of domestic violence towards men, it is mostly women who suffer at the fists or intimidating words of a lover or husband. Why? Often the only answer is: Because he can. There is no logical or rational excuse for beating or abusing a woman in any shape or form—abuse can be physical, mental, or emotional. Violence against women in any form is a crime, whether the abuser is a family member, someone you date, a current or past spouse, or a boyfriend.
Often women come from battered childhoods, thinking that brutalizing is a form of ‘love’ as this is all they have ever known or were accustomed to all their lives. Many women even believe they are at fault and not the perpetrator as he has convinced her so. Many men will be sorry afterwards, begging forgiveness and asking for just one more chance. Women may go through their entire lives with an abuser, never realizing that it will not stop, or will finally receive assistance out of desperation. It doesn't matter what race or culture you come from, how much money you have, how old you are, or if you have a disability. Violence does not discriminate. Here are a few clear signs to help you know if you are being abused. (click link)
For any battered women reading this article you must absolutely understand: You are never at fault—ever. First, you must recognize this, and then decide where to get help—and get yourself and your children as far away and as fast as possible. Seek help from other family members and friends or community organizations. Reach out for support or counseling. Talk with a health care provider, especially if you have been physically hurt.
Love and the Stockholm Syndrome:
On August 23rd, 1973 two machine-gun carrying criminals entered a bank in Stockholm, Sweden. Blasting their guns, one prison escapee named Jan-Erik Olsson announced to the terrified bank employees "The party has just begun!" The two bank robbers held four hostages, three women and one man, for the next 131 hours. The hostages were strapped with dynamite and held in a bank vault until finally rescued on August 28th.
After their rescue, the hostages exhibited a shocking attitude considering they were threatened, abused, and feared for their lives for over five days. In their media interviews, it was clear that they supported their captors and actually feared law enforcement personnel who came to their rescue. The hostages had begun to feel the captors were actually protecting them from the police. One woman later became engaged to one of the criminals and another developed a legal defense fund to aid in their criminal defense fees. Clearly, the hostages had "bonded" emotionally with their captors.
Loving the hand that beats us:
Women become conditioned or brainwashed through emotional intensity and come to feel that intensity itself profound when, in fact, it is just intensity. If someone makes us feel strongly emotional in some way or we become connected to them during a time of strong emotion, then that strong emotion may glue an emotional connection in place between you and them.
Relationships:
The victim in love and the Stockholm Syndrome will do, say, become whatever the abuser desires, regardless of the way she feels, in order to please him into not being angry or distant. The abuser often places a wedge between her and her family members, so he will have all her attention. Mostly he is afraid of the power a family member has to help her change or is just plain jealous that she has other relationships.
Name-calling: From stupid, worthless to much worse, name-calling can have a devastatingly psychological affect on her and works to beat her down even more. Women have said they had rather be slapped than have her husband yell obscenities at her.
Keeping her on a short leash: She cannot go to the store, out with friends, especially relatives, jealousy is the excuse to tighten the rope even tighter. If she might be two minutes late getting home, everything hits the fan, and she feels it’s her fault for being careless.
Sole provider: In the abuser’s twisted mind, the first step towards making someone really dependent on them is to somehow become the sole provider of their needs. He refuses to allow her to educate herself, find a way to earn money for herself and children, making her completely dependent on him. He may even go so far as to give her an allowance for food, and then make her beg for any personal items. He will say things like “You are bleeding me dry” or “You want all my hard-earned money and all you do is sit around the house all day. . .” or other demeaning phrases. Eventually, she has no idea how she will get along without him for support
In the final analysis, emotionally bonding with an abuser is actually a strategy for survival for victims of abuse and intimidation. Until she finally realizes what is happening, and gets away for help, Stockholm Syndrome or any type of abuse will keep happening. There are a millions stories that have or could have a happy ending. Women are taking their power seriously, and know for sure what they deserve is complete happiness and an empowered life.
http://www.webmd.com/sexual-conditions/guide/sexual-abuse-and-assault
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