Author interview with Jim C. Hines

Jim C. Hines

Jim C. Hines joins us on Examiner.com this week! He is known for his incredibly funny Jig the Goblin series, plus his current Princess series, which puts a serious twist on the classical characters of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, and Snow White. 

1. Is there a story you’ve written that will never see the light of day? Why would you deprive us of this genius?

Is there “a” story?  Ha!  There are dozens, mostly written when I was first starting out and had no clue how to write a decent story.  Let’s see here ... there’s the overly purple D&D fanfic, the “Look how deep I am” death demon story, the Mad Max style pizza delivery guy-- 

Actually, a Mad Max pizza delivery dude could be a lot of fun.  I might need to take a closer look at that one....

2. What’s a story you’ve never written, but always wanted too?

At the moment, I’m lucky enough to be in a position where I can write pretty much whatever I want.  I have a day job, which means my family isn’t dependent on the writing income.  So if I have an idea I like, I write it.  Oh, there is one new idea involving [REDACTED] and [REDACTED] fighting a horde of giant [REDACTED]s that I’d like to pursue, but I’m planning to start on that just as soon as I wrap up the current series next year.

3. Is there a character or plot point you’ve wanted to change in retrospect?

Jig the Goblin should have been left-handed.

4. Which of your characters would you never want to meet (in a dark alley or otherwise)?

All of them!  I’m an author, which means I’m a total bastard to my characters.  They’d be lining up for the chance to kick my butt.

Goblin Hero

5. Which of your worlds/realities/cities would you never want to visit?

Zombieland, from the short story Brainburgers and Bile Shakes.  A zombie amusement park sounds like fun, but the health code violations alone are enough to turn your stomach.  The goblin lair from the Goblin Quest books is another place I’d prefer to avoid.  Goblin hygiene is funny to write about, but you wouldn’t want to live there.  Or visit.  Or pass within a mile of.  Two miles if you’re downwind.

6. Is there a piece of writing advice you’ve never followed?

“If a bookstore doesn’t have your book, sneak into the store and put a copy on their shelves.  That way when someone buys it, the sale gets flagged in their computer and they’ll order more copies.” 

Hey, you didn’t say it had to be good advice.  That one came from one of the scam publishers that prey on new writers.  I hate those guys.

7. What is an aspect of the writing craft you’ve never had a problem with (and why)?

Never is a strong word, but the light and humorous stories have always come pretty naturally to me.  My first pro sale was a story called “Blade of the Bunny,” if that gives you any idea.  I’ve tried to write deep and serious.  I spent years working to write a story that would make my writing group cry.  (I finally pulled it off, but it took a lot of work.)  In the end though, I’ve got to be me.  I think my kids have the truth of it when they say, “Daddy, you’re goofy.”

8. What’s the one book out there that you wish you’d written (but of course won’t, because it’s already written, and writing it again would be plagiarism, and that’s just mean)?

I certainly wouldn’t mind collecting those Harry Potter royalties.  I’d love to have written Uhura’s Song, because I’m enough of a geek that I think it would be fun to write a media novel, and that was one of my favorites.  In terms of sheer brilliance, I wish I could write half as well as Ursula Le Guin or Terry Pratchett.  (And wouldn’t that be a fascinating collaboration?)

9. What aspect of writing will you never stop working to improve in?

All of them, I hope.  The day I’m content with “Good enough” is the day a younger Jim Hines is supposed to travel forward in time and kick my butt.

The Stepsister Scheme

10. What’s one part of the publishing industry/process you wish you could do without?

This was the hardest question to answer, which surprised me.  It’s not like publishing is perfect.  Far from it.  The industry is struggling to adapt and survive, and it’s incredibly frustrating trying to break in.  Yet ... it works for me.  I’d like to say I could have done without the 500+ rejection letters I collected while trying to “make it” (whatever that means), but I needed that time to learn to write.  I could complain about the year or more it takes to get a book into print, but that year gives us time to revise and improve the book, design better cover art, procure advance reviews, and so on. 

Oh, I’ve got one.  I wish the national chains gave more independence to their regional buyers.  Right now, it’s far too easy for a single person to make a decision that makes or breaks your book in an entire chain nationwide.  I wish the regions and the individual stores had more power to customize their inventory to their customers.

11. What’s the one thing you would never do to shamelessly promote your current release?

Shave my chest, paint my cover art on my body, and streak the Nebula Awards ceremony.  Though that would probably get me a mention in Locus, not to mention some nice buzz in the blogosphere.  Hm ... okay, strike this answer.

12. What’s a question you’ve always wanted to answer, but have never been asked?

“I’m Steven Spielberg--Would you mind if I made movies of all your books?”

-          And your answer?

“I think we could work something out.”