The author and her son in the hospital (credit: Rebekah Sprecher)
I think we've all heard the stories...
Mary Beth Tinning smothered nine of her own children and almost got away with it. She craved the attention and enjoyed planning the funerals.
Waneta Hoyt killed five of her children and also almost escaped punishment. In fact, the deaths of two of her children were cited as proof that SIDS can run in families!
And now there is the newest case... Emily McDonald stands accused of tainting her own daughter's central venous line with fecal matter in order to keep her sick and in the hospital!
What do these cases mean for those of us who have special needs children?
Well, the simple answer, of course, is that if your child is really sick, you have nothing to worry about. You are a concerned parent and you are there for your child and you are not harming them.
During my son's last hospitalization, he underwent a number of tests and procedures to help alleviate some uncomfortable problems that he was having. I know most of his doctors, but this time we were encountering some new ones. I knew that I was doing right by my son and advocating for his health, but I worried: What if these new doctors thought that I was too aggressive? I know that this should have been the farthest thing from my mind, but with the Munchausen's stories that we hear in the media all the time, I truly worried that my concern would be taken the wrong way.
What are the signs of MBPS?
According to KidsHealth.org, the symptoms of Munchausen by Proxy may include:
- a child who has multiple medical problems that don't respond to treatment or that follow a persistent and puzzling course
- physical or laboratory findings that are highly unusual, don't correspond with the child's medical history, or are physically or clinically impossible
- short-term symptoms that tend to stop when the perpetrator isn't around
- a parent or caregiver who isn't reassured by "good news" when test results find no medical problems, but continues to believe that the child is ill
- a parent or caregiver who appears to be medically knowledgeable or fascinated with medical details or appears to enjoy the hospital environment
- a parent or caregiver who's unusually calm in the face of serious difficulties with the child's health
- a parent or caregiver who's highly supportive and encouraging of the doctor, or one who is angry and demands further intervention, more procedures, second opinions, or transfers to more sophisticated facilities
Clearly, those of us who mean the best for our children, who truly want them to get better, are not going to fit these criteria. But the panicky media breeds fear in the public, and therefore some of us may feel scrutinized.
What do we do?
My advice would be this:
- always take your child in for treatment when it is needed
- get all lab testing and procedures done that the doctor asks for, unless you have a good reason to question it, and then speak with the doctor about it
- do advocate for further treatment or testing if you feel your child needs it; or against these things if you feel they are excessive
- be candid with medical professionals; do not be afraid to share all of the details
These are scary times, and it saddens us all that someone would do these things to their own child. This is a time for the special needs community to stick together and support each other. If we don't have others in our situations to support us, whom do we have?
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