This is too good to NOT be true, don't you think?
The Black and Gold Standard, the Official Blog of the Columbus Crew, is reporting today that Seattle's Tyrone Marshall created a divot in the Crew Stadium grass just before Guillermo Barros Schelotto took and missed a crucial late penalty kick in the Sounders' 1:0 win.
Says the entry: After referee Ricardo Salazar whistled Jhon Kennedy Hurtado for bodyblocking Eddie Gaven in the box, Hurtado and James Riley undertook a lengthy appeal. Hurtado and Riley remained in Salazar’s face for nearly a minute, keeping the referee occupied. It was the perfect diversion for Sounders defender Tyrone Marshall, who went to the penalty spot and got to work with his cleats. Marshall earnestly dug into the spot as if he were a slugger prepping for a crucial at-bat. He raked his cleats and back and forth, back and forth, over and over again. He jammed his heel into the ground when more force was needed. By the time he was finished, there was barely any evidence left of the white dot. There was a crater in its place.
It was a classic “pulling one over while the ref is distracted” move straight out of the scripted world of professional wrestling. Or like when a bank robber calls in a bomb threat across town to divert police attention before hitting up the bank.
As further proof, the bloggers took to the pitch after the match to snap this photo:
Please, PLEASE say it is true, Tyrone. (God bless Field Turf.)
Here's another Divotgate take from Laurie and Seattle Offside.
Meanwhile, traveling Sounders fan Kara reports on her trip to Ohio in her blog today:
"...But before we could tease, from behind a drunk moron stole Audrey’s scarf and ran like a jack rabbit on crack. I must warn the readers that a bachelor’s degree in English did not provide me with ample enough education to label this disgusting act appropriately, so you will just have to use your imagination to fill in the gap between my words and my feelings. In any case, Eric from our party took off after him and I likewise set down my camera and in the phrase of an English coach I once had, got on my bike. I was paced pretty well behind at about 20 yards and figured alcohol would render the fiend short winded and we might be able between Eric and I to at least get him to ditch the precious article so we could retrieve it. We ran through the line of cars, down a hill of brush, until we got to the train tracks which we saw were very soon going to be occupied in a way which would make it undesirable for us to tarry long. We looked around, but having lost sight of “the thing,” we had to give up. I say “thing” because “man” is hardly fitting for whatever would steal from a woman and then take off like a coward; I’ve seen “animals” act with greater self respect and deference to others; and “minerals” could probably not have soaked up enough alcohol to make one feel cool about being an absolute jerk.
The rest of our party was horrified when we got back, in a way that went beyond my own disgust and anger. No one said as much, but it was obviously taken as a personal affront. We might have been Seattle fans, but we were their Seattle fans. As I told the details to Kerry, an ardent Crew supporter, who had come in late, he apologized so profusely and sincerely that my instinct was to turn and comfort him instead. He took his own scarf from around his neck and told us that he had worn it for the last 26 games straight, that it was the special design of the supporters group, and then he passed it to us. Knowing how precious my own scarf is, and Audrey’s too, the gesture almost took my breath away. But the good blood was only just beginning." Read the rest of the story here. UPDATE: Her new Crew scarves
Comments
Maybe the Crew could patch up that bald spot in the grass with, um, a recently obtained Seattle scarf? jk
1. you don't steal scarves (esp. from female fans)
2. 'black and gold standard' is the dumbest blog name ever
OMG, what would ACES do? LOL.
I think this is the greatest move ever!! I love soccer, ... and will have to remember this one next time Im playing on grass and a penalty is called. I miss grass!
Tyrone Marshall is a G
David-- Just to be clear, that was my little entry and not anything by the Crew FO. I will have more about it in the Notebook later this week on TheCrew.com, but since I had pictures, it was just easiest to put that portion up on the blog. I thought it was a fun/bizarre "game within the game" subplot, so I am happy to see it has entered Sounders legend. I'm not the least bit up and arms about it, and like I said in the follow-up comment, Guille needs to make that kick and I don't really blame the miss on what transpired. But I had never ever seen a player do what Tyrone did, and since Guille dropped an awesome Guille-ism about breaking the floor, I thought it was worth going back out there and checking it out. But to be clear, that was meant to be more of a fun "game within the game" piece than some investigative report blaming the loss on Seattle cheating. I was intrigued having watched Tyrone go to work, and I was amazed by the quality of the end result. Cheers!-- Sirk
So it was an unofficial entry into the official club blog? LOL.
Karma says: your fan steals a scarf, your player misses pk
What was stopping GBS from smoothing out the pk spot area before shooting?
Okay, I can see where that may seem a bit weird. I write articles for the website and I also have access to post to the team blog. But I do not work in the front office and my articles / blog entries are not approved through the front office. That blog entry went live without the Crew FO even knowing it was in the works. I suppose if push comes to shove, they can yank things down, but they've granted me autonomy and have stuck with it. Crew fans mostly know my role, but I can understand where it would seem weird to an outsider, so I just wanted to stress that this was something I wrote and pursued, rather than something the FO had anything to do with. I probably should have added the disclaimer that accompanies my MLSnet articles. Honestly, apart from Guille's comment to me in the locker room, and a conversation with a few friends after interviews, Tyrone's digging never even came up postgame. But then I got curious and decided to head back out to the field. [con't]
I gotcha. You don't work for the Crew. So, do we owe your club any sort of fine for tampering...with the pitch? ;)
[con't] Once I got out to the field, I was amazed at what a great job he did and I thought it would be fun to share. I didn't even ask other players about it because, at the time, I didn't realize he had obliterated it like he did. The most amazing thing was that he openly did it while everyone else around was oblivious. Not just the ref, who was distracted by Riley and Hurtado, but it took a while before any Crew players noticed either. I just thought it was classic game-within-the-game moment and I am glad curiosity lured me back out to the field, especially since you guys got a Sounder legend out of it.
Zing! A tampering joke! Well played.
And to clarify my role, I am contracted by the Crew, so I don't mean to make it sound like I have no relationship whatsoever. That would be a misrepresentation. But they hired me to do my thing and they leave me alone to do it. I don't work in the office and I don't have to get approval for what I write. It's very hands-off. That blog entry was 100% me.
Sirk, Sounders fans salute your reporting, so that we could then salute Tyrone! (T-shirts and two-poles surely to follow)
"The Excavator." ;) (As seen on The Offside Blog)
Watch the FSN replay last night. While Riley et all are 'talking' with the official, you can clearly see Marshall swinging his foot back and forth over the spot, in the background.
boy, (s)crew fans are a sensitive little bunch, aren't they? Several forums have posts with them complaining about this story. Why? It's all in jest and just a part of the soccer world. Oh, but the scarf-nab was uncool. Tyrone's divot? Very cool. ;)
What can we learn from this, children? Stealing scarves is bad. Making up with guests is good. Tyrone Marshall is bad, and by that I mean he is very, very good.
This just in! Most Crew fans are cool people. The scarf story is an isolated incident! Tyrone Marhsall still rocks!
Very odd situation indeed. I don't think this is the reason GBS missed that shot, however. He just psyched himself out.
tvconfirms: I don't think he was creating a divot, I think he was practicing his bicycle kick.
wewonatrophy.com/wallpapers/thecratermaker.jpg
David, could I get a little star or a smiley-face or maybe a little soccer ball by my previous post? I'm insecure and I need affirmation.
thanks for the awesome wallpaper
"obvious:" how about a *mental* gold star? Those are the best kind. I'm sending you one right now. ;)
Got something to say?
Examiner.com is looking for writers, photographers, and videographers to join the fastest growing group of local insiders. If you are interested in growing your online rep apply to be an Examiner today!