'One of those weeks' - they NEVER happen on a soap

Ever have One of those Weeks where you suddenly become missing in action due to one crisis or distraction after another?  Well, after enduring such a week with the dust finally settling, it gave me pause to think about why I am so attracted to the soaps.

One would think initially that soapers would endure those types of weeks consistently but while many typically live life on the edge, they manage to escape routine consequences the rest of us would have to face.  For me this was not a week of disasters based upon my choices--it was instead just a domino effect triggered by lousy things happening to people I care about.  It was about the series of curve balls life can toss at you that created some enormous distractions.

Everyone has problems and most of the problems soap characters deal with have typically provided us with an escape from our own issues but the average soap character doesn't ever have to acknowledge or respond to the likes of a global health issue, a shrinking economy, elderly care issues (just shove them in the basement of the mansion) and a host of other troubles most of us typically deal with and cope with on a daily basis.

Our problems pale by comparison to ones faced by soapers known as devious divas, the wickedly wealthy and ruthless business moguls or desperate females with those signature sudsy 'get the man of your dreams' agendas.

Many or us are currently be worried about 'Swine Flu' and its potential to become a pandemic but on the soaps they rarely or never even turn a television set on unless someone they know has just become a spokesperson for a magical hemorrhoid cream or something.  How could they possibly be aware of swine flu?  On the soaps, they simply worry about those sleazy swines trying to lure their men away--think Phyllis vs. Sharon on The Young and the Restless or Stacy vs. Gigi on One Life to Live.

Those who pay attention to current news know that it is playoff season for basketball and hockey and are aware that major league baseball has just kicked off.  When was the last time you saw a group of male characters on a soap bonding in a sports bar over a cold beer screaming at the television set?  When have we ever seen one of these guys decked out in a t-shirt bearing the logo of their favorite team?  The men on a soaps never bond that way.  Cops never sit around and speculate about the Craig's List Killer and women never sit around a dish about Oprah's hot topics or about the latest episode of Desperate Housewives.

They seriously need to watch more television because none of them are even remotely aware that the President of the United States has been in office for over 100 days now and that's largely because they never vote on the soaps unless it's a local election in their own little soaps town. 

They honestly need to be more in tune on the soaps but now that I think of it, perhaps they are better off without the constant stream of gloom and doom news hitting us nonstop lately.  Yeah, I suppose they really are better off running around attempting to steal each other's DNA or husbands, rip off each other's babies, destroy each other's companies and resurrect themselves from the dead every once in awhile. 

I may sound certifiable at this point, but if I didn't have this genre in my life and its ability to allow me to forget my own setbacks no matter how briefly--I would definitely be broke from the number of therapy sessions I might require.  Who needs Oprah when you have the soaps?

Thanks for letting me vent.