Only the lonely - dealing with being alone as a single mom.

Kate Gosselin during interview at "Today Show".       AP Photo/Richard Drew

As the media hype of Jon and Kate Plus Eight continues, People Magazine's issue (www.people.com) dated 7/6/09 states that Kate's fear of being a single mother is "being alone".

As most of us know, this feeling of being alone is just one of many "rites of passage" in being a single mom.  Doing it alone in today's world with kids in tow is nothing short of novelty.  How do we get out of this?

According to Dr. Josie Levine, an Oakland Clinical Psychologist (www.drjosielevine.com), "Some practical behaviors to try if loneliness does arise, and it becomes intolerable, are to plan ways you can get involved with a community.  This could be through your kids school, or playgroup.  Organize a neighborhood of babysitting or playdate system (I'll take your kid, if you'll take mine).  A regular schedule of this will free up your time predictably.  Not only will you earn gratitude from the other parent, but possible friendship."

Dr. Levine also suggests to "be rigorous about getting some 'you time', and use that to do whatever you want.  If you have some alone time, it can usually feed your soul or replenish your energy."

One Oakland mom who has two teenage children states, "I can be found at my son's baseball game or at my daughter's basketball game.  In between those times, if my kids are with me, we are either hanging out at the house doing our daily routines or we're at the movies or doing family activities.  Just because there's no spouse here doesn't mean life is over.  Life for me is never lonely.  Just busier."

When asked how her nights are, she states, "I'm too tired to think of loneliness.  My life right now is fulfilling and being alone, to me anyway, was never an issue.  I was lonelier when I was married.  I think we get stuck with the status quo that people should be with someone.  That's only as good, or great, as the person you're with."

Another suggestion came from a divorced mom of five years.  She also suggests that a newly single mother should keep busy and not dwell on the fact that she is alone.  Being busy means focusing on the children's needs as well as pursuing things that interested her and were not able to pursue when she was married.  By doing so, she is literally moving on with her life productively and the feeling of being alone is just a mere "rite of passage".