PGA of America needs lessons on its 'Golf Instruction' program

"You'll be entitled to receive the newest DVDs every 2-3 months at the
regular price, plus shipping and handling!" Gee, thanks, PGA!

2009 marked the year I finally gave in to the continual bombardment of free stickers and note pads, and opted to join the USGA. I figured that as an "active member" of the golfing world, the least I could do was support the sport's governing body.

That, and the ten-dollar U.S. Open hat (if you are just joining us, I have a thing for golf hats).

Shortly after joining the USGA, I was unsurprised to find that they sell their list to other organizations and companies for marketing purposes. It is to be expected, really, given that they simply cannot be making any money on $10 memberships that include a free hat.

As an ex-marketing whore, I can understand and sympathize with the strategy of identifying a known demographic and going after it. From a golf marketing perspective, I'm on the second ring outside of the sweet spot. I don't hold it against the junk mail I get, I simply shred it and move on.

But this week I received a piece of marketing from the PGA of America's "PGA Golf Instruction" that utlized old-school, opt-out tactics so confounding and confusing that it made me mad at the PGA - once I figured out the pitch. The PGA sent me, unbidden, the first DVD in their golf instruction video series: "Lowering Your Score: the Complete Short Game" and "Off the Tee: Maximum Distance and Accuracy."  

According to the enclosed letter, "This special-edition DVD is the first release and is available to you for the exclusive price of just $12.95! Because you didn't ask for this special-edition DVD, you're under no obligation to do anything and consider it a free gift, but with expert instruction like this we know you'll want to put this series to use today!" (exclamation points and grammar the PGA's).

It gets sillier. They include directions for how to join the CBS-Columbia House...I mean, PGA of America Instruction Video Series or send the DVD back (sans case) if you don't want to keep it. "Due to postal changes" they can no longer accept the return of the DVD cases, only the DVDs. There is a seperate instruction insert, done up with red ink, specifically for this point. I am wondering why said postal changes didn't stop them from sending the thing in the first place.

Everyone always says to avoid unsolicited golf instruction: on the range, on the course, or in the clubhouse. Add to that, "in the mailbox." It's odd that an organization so adept at marketing its own game would be so inept at marketing its own program. Then again, this might be the first sign that the PGA is feeling the crunch of the shrinking economy, and needs to start diversifying. The timeline would be about right from sponsorship freefall to unsolicited DVD.

Either way, thanks, PGA, for the much-needed coaster. Ever since AOL quit spamming me these have been in short supply in my house.