Sexy Lubes, Lotions & Potions: Astroglide Natural (review)

Astroglide Natural, for tree-huggers and rocket scientists

The Astroglide brand will always hold a special place in my heart: My very first sexual encounter involved copious amounts of it, liberally applied.

Only later, when wiser in the ways and private habits of young men, did I piece together why that first lover (let's call him Astroboyfriend), also previously virginal up until that point, might have had a half-empty bottle of the stuff at his bedside.

That first experience – paired with the apocryphal-sounding origin story (turns out to be true) my Astroboyfriend told about the accidental invention of this miracle substance at the hands of rocket scientist Daniel Wray – forever embedded Astroglide in my mind as the stuff my sexiest sci-fi dreams are made of.

I remember being distinctly disappointed, in subsequent and subsequently drier space exploration with less prepared partners, to discover that not every young astronaut was as prepared for the rocket science of sexual intercourse as my Astroboyfriend.

After using Astroglide as my lube of choice for the next decade, in recent years i've moved on: There are a lot of great lubes on the market these days, and I've gotten pickier and pickier about reading labels of ingredients on any rocketry systems I'm launching into my inner space. When it comes to lubes, there's one ingredient in particular for women to watch out for: Glycerin is no good for yeast infections, and yeast infections are no good for rocket science.

But wait... Astroglide Natural to the rescue!

The newest Astroglide formula swaps out glycerin for xylitol, a sugar-free humectant derived from corn cobs and shown to decrease yeast production. The lube is water-based, water-soluble, and plays nice with condoms for those of us working with space helmets. For good measure the newly eco-conscious rocket scientists at Astroglide have added aloe vera, vitamins C and E, and chamomile flower extracts that are both soothing and antibacterial. The stuff is so good it actually comes with a just-what-the-doctor-ordered warning on the label: "Caution: Astroglide Natural is extremely slippery – Clean spills immediately."

My one gripe: The marketing materials I received for Astroglide Natural say "Astroglide Natural delivers its delicious slippery sensations with absolutely no glycerin, parabens, or alcohol, making it perfect for those who prefer fewer additives in the products they choose." But the label tells a different story: The samples I received do contain the common anti-fungal agent methylparaben. It's not a deal-breaker for me personally, but my readers with sensitive skin and allergies should be aware that there are in fact parabens in there. If that's a dealbreaker for you, check out my previous review of the Beautifully Bare & Silky Supreme lubes by Wet Naturals for another great product you might be interested in.

UPDATE 10/09/2009: I just received this note from the PR folks at Astroglide and wanted to share it with you:

Thank you for your wonderful review of Astroglide Natural.  We always like to hear from the media and our customers and value all feedback, even when negative.  Like everyone, we want to keep getting better and that's why we want to keep up our end of  the dialogue.  Please know that we've taken your comments seriously and decided to reformulate Astroglide Natural without parabens.  We plan to launch this new version in the near future and will keep you posted.  Meanwhile, if you are looking for a glycerine and paraben-free personal lubricant that you can use immediately, we suggest Astroglide Free.

Best,
Kip Morrison
Public Relations