It’s time to approach your marriage like a well-run business. Too often romance idealizes a partner and then reality sets in one morning, “I feel like I am married to a stranger.” When you are experiencing that floating- on- air-kind- of-love, you don’t tend to discuss potentially explosive issues like politics, religion and money – but maybe you should. Intimacy in a relationship means talking about these core values and coming up with a plan for dealing with daily realities.
For example, would you start a business with a new partner without discussing expenditures and savings? Would you run this business without a business plan? Who will be the chief financial officer running the daily accounts, purchasing the necessities and paying the bills? These questions need to be discussed and negotiated before you get married. And then after you are married, regularly at quarterly intervals, you need to have a meeting about financial goals, debits and credits. The partner who is not the CFO needs to be brought up to date and have some input about the long range “company vision.”
In many relationships opposites attract. In business terms this means a spendthrift could be married to a tight wad. A spend thrift is more impulse-driven and not worried about the consequences of purchasing a pleasure. A tight wad plans for the future and worries about the cost of a pleasure. Together there is an opportunity for balanced living. You can bet that there will be controversy in this relationship and hopefully, this couple is looking for equitable compromises. In a well-run marriage each spouse needs to have a specific, identifiable skill because there is great synergy in a team while two people with the same skills are going to bump into one another.
Questions to ask before you get hitched:
* Are there any past money problems you need to discuss or outstanding loans? Credit scores?
* What bills do you currently pay?
* One account or separate accounts?
* What will you be saving for – vacation, the children’s college fund, retirement?
Invest in your relationship! Divorce is costly.
For more info on relationship happiness: www.turnonyourinnerlight.com
Comments
Debbie,
Good article, this is a sensitive area for many couples. Money can mean different things to people. You make a good point about the need to disucss these subjects and to make a plan together.
Debra Joy Goldman West Palm Beach Marriage Examiner
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