Picture created using Powerpoint and Art Explosion Publisher Pro.

Teaching conflict resolution works best, with elementary school students and middle school students, by combining it with the concepts of communication skills and character education strategies. You might even want to call your class or unit by the generic title of Communication Skills or the 3 C’s:
* Communication Skills
* Conflict Resolution
*Character Education

A way to introduce the class or unit

Teacher: This class (or unit) is called Communication Skills. What kind of things do you think you would learn about in a class with that name?

Students: (Accept reasonable answers.)

Teacher: We will learn the skills of Good Communication through:
* Public speaking through storytelling, role-playing, and discussion
* Conflict Resolution techniques
* Character Education strategies.

Teacher: What do you think Conflict Resolution is?

Students: (Learning positive ways to deal with conflict situations.)

An object lesson

Pre-teens and teens are predisposed to push against pushy adults. If you present these lessons as if you are the ultimate authority on dealing with conflict, the majority of your students will close their mind against your lessons. On the other hand, if you can present these concepts as a mutual exploration of what might work in the majority of situations, you have a better chance of finding students willing to have an open mind about what you teach.

A perfect example of this is the following:

I was walking through a grocery store in Knoxville, Tennessee. I overheard a father trying to coerce his daughter into being willing to try his preferred salad dressing flavor. The more he pushed, the more she resisted.

He would have done much better to simply state, “I personally like this flavor of salad dressing. Is that a flavor that you think you might like or do you prefer a different flavor?”

Dealing with teens and adults is all about saving face. Make a person feel backed into a corner and he or she is bound to lash out in some manner. Leaving him or her an out gives both of you more maneuvering room so you both can come out feeling as if your feelings and statements have been truly acknowledged.

A tool box of tools to deal with conflict

The ideal way to get pre-teens and teens to suspend their disbelief long enough to allow your teachings to reach their heart is to treat them and their ideas with respect. Even though you were a teen once yourself, it has been several years since that was the case. We, as adults, have no real concept of what challenges current teens have to face due to increased technology and other forces.

Here is an approach that works.

Teacher: You already have a tool box, so to speak, of ways you deal with conflict. Maybe those tools work for you really well and that’s great. But maybe, some of those tools have:

* gotten you a pink slip to the office
* or a demerit slip from your teacher
* or grounded by your parents
* or your boyfriend or girlfriend has broken up with you
* or your best friend has gotten mad at you
* or some kid has bugged you in the hallway.

In that case, this class will largely be about learning some additional ways to deal with conflict in positive ways. That way, when you find yourself in a conflict situation, you will have a larger group of options to choose from to handle that situation better.

Character Education concepts

Teacher: What do you think Character Education is?

Students: (Elicit answers such as responsibility, self-control, valuing and respecting self, trustworthiness, honesty, caring, giving, valuing and respecting others, valuing and respecting authority, justice, fairness, citizenship, civic value, leadership, etc.)

Teacher: Character Education strategies help you learn about such traits as responsibility, self-control, valuing and respecting self, trustworthiness, honesty, caring, giving, valuing and respecting others, valuing and respecting authority, justice, fairness, citizenship, civic value, and leadership.

An essential question to pose

Teacher: How will learning about positive ways to deal with conflict and good character traits benefit my daily interactions with others and help improve my life?

Students: (Accept reasonable answers.)

You might even want to divide the class up into groups of five or six to brainstorm several responses to that question. Ask them to come up with anecdotes from their lives, movies or television shows they have seen, or anecdotes from other people’s lives that demonstrate the advantages of learning conflict resolution techniques and character education strategies.

The more you can give the class ownership over their own learning process, the better chance you have to make a difference in their lives.

Final explanation to the class

Teacher: You will learn about Conflict Resolution and Character Education in five main ways:

1. Storytelling – I will tell or read you stories. Also, you will tell each other stories and anecdotes from your life.

2. Role-Playing – We will do a ton of role-playing using scripted role-plays.

3. Skit-Making – Occasionally, you will divide into groups of three or four and create a group role-play that you will act out for the class. Additionally, we act out a lot of skit situations in the negative way and then the positive way. This way, you can experience how each process feels so you can make more informed behavior choices as a result.

4. Writing – We will do some writing; however, the majority of what we do will involve oral speaking in some form or another.

5. Discussion – We will do lots and lots of discussion.

Some Conflict Resolution Story Examples
Tyler chooses between Dennis and Shawn's gang
A Mediation session with Shawn, Tyler, and Dennis
Sam Self-Mentors versus Psychological Warfare
Pranks, Idle Threats, & Promises
Bully Jake & Eddie  
Jake tries to rebuild his trust level with others

Some Conflict Resolution Scripted Role-Play Examples
Scripted role-play to print - Tyler chooses between Dennis and Shawn's gang
Scripted role-play to print - A Mediation session with Shawn, Tyler, and Dennis
Scripted role-play to print - Sam Self-Mentors versus Psychological Warfare
Scripted role-play to print - Pranks, Idle Threats, & Promises
Scripted role-play to print - Bully Jake & Eddie  
Scripted role-play to print - Jake tries to rebuild his trust level with others

See the following lesson plans to get some writing & discussion examples
Fight or Flight Lesson Plan (Grades 6-8) – Tyler Chooses between Dennis and Shawn’s gang
Fight or Flight Lesson Plan (Grades 6-8) – A Mediation session with Shawn, Tyler, and Dennis
Anger Management Lesson Plan (Grades 6-8) – Sam Self-Mentors versus Psychological Warfare
Anger Management Lesson Plan (Grades 6-8) – Pranks, Idle Threats, & Promises
Fight or Flight Lesson Plan (Grades 6-8) – Bully Jake & Eddie plus Sequel

Resource:
3 C’s: Character Education, Conflict Resolution, Communication Skills by Debbie Dunn. This curriculum was created for and taught for five years (1998 to 2003) in an East Tennessee Middle School until a budget cut eliminated most of the school’s special programs. Visit my School Conflict Resolution Examiner page for further information.