There are certain things that just seem to work well together. Peanut butter and jelly. Chicken and rice. Steak and potatoes. Democrats and Republicans. Well, maybe not the latter but you get the point. Some things are just perfect fits. So much so, that the absence of one seems to devalue the other.

Runner dating runner can be another blissful match. Both understand the love/hate relationship of running. They understand the taxing hours, crucial diet, and deep dedication. He understands when she sets the alarm for 4am to avoid the 90 degree heat. She understands when he wants to leave the party early because he has a long run in the morning. Like PB & J, they just go well together.  So what happens when runner meets non runner? What happens when you have peanut butter and honey?  Steak and creamed corn?

PB & Honey may not be as popular as the classic favorite but it’s still pretty damn good!

When runner meets non runner, you don’t need to throw in the proverbial towel, instantly. Understanding can go a long way in developing a healthy, beautiful relationship. The biggest challenge in this dichotomy is understanding the runner. So while much of the weight falls on the non runner; the runner still must be able to communicate “how” the other half can be supportive.
Here are some things to consider:

Runners are not crazy.  We hear this often and though we may not admit it, it hurts. The seeming obsession with running may be foreign to you, but it’s far from an obsession. It’s a lifestyle. One that brings us happiness, confidence, relief, and joy. Consider the scores of other “lifestyles” (i.e. drugs, drinking, and debauchery) your mate could be attached to and running may take on a whole new light. We’re not crazy and it doesn’t help when you tell us we are. Even when said in jest.

Training is hard.  We may love the euphoria after a long, hard run but make no mistake it’s often hard to get started. We need your support, encouragement and love. Many training plans are arduous and time-consuming. Motivation can become scarce and frustration can become plentiful. Your understanding and support can get us through. The lack of it can bury us.

Support comes in many forms.  You don’t have to run beside us to be supportive. One of the greatest feelings on the planet is to turn the final corner after 26 long miles and see the object of your affection jumping up and down cheering you on. “Just being there” is more support than you can ever imagine. 

Learn to build, not tear down.  A runners schedule can wreak havoc on a social life. We understand that. So the challenge is to find compromise. Bed at 9pm and rising at 5am is enough to send most running for the hills but perhaps you’re looking at the glass half empty?  Look for ways to take advantage of such a schedule.  If you insist on an 11pm bedtime, then use the 2 hour window for other things (homework, laundry, journal, or reading).  If rising before 11am on the weekend is a sin for you, have your runner move pre run rituals outside of the bedroom. Look for ways to work together- even while apart (or asleep).  That whole addition but subtraction thing…

Take an interest.  Arguably the most challenging area is lack of mutual interest. Couples often have mutual interests to share. Such things foster and develop relationships. So even if you have sworn allegiance to the Non Runners Club of America, this doesn’t mean you can’t learn about the sport. Ask questions; understand terms like “tempo run” and “tapering”.  Ask your runner why some days are speed work and others are long and slow. Pick up a copy Runners World and read what your runner reads. You’d be surprised what might develop.

Finally, the runner must do the same for his/her mate. Perhaps the non runner is an avid reader. Apply the same principles from above. Support your reader, respect their desire to simply steal away and read, and just as you would expect as a runner; take an interest in a few of their reads.

In the end, it’s a two way street.  Don’t expect your mate to LOVE your passion.  Don’t pressure them to adopt it either.  And certainly don’t resent them when they don’t seem to “get it”.  They’re not crazy either.  They don’t need to “get it”.  Very few non runners ever do.  But together, you build mutual respect and support.

With a little patience and understanding, Steak and Creamed Corn can be just as tantalizing as the old fabled classic!