As regular readers will already know, junior roller derby is the hottest craze to reach West Central FL's youths since the hacky sack, ODB's "Got Your Money," and death metal. The Tampa Bay Derby Chicks last bout had an 80's theme, showing these sprite-sized athletes just how horrible "culture" was when their parents were growing up. Saturday's bout, Derby Detention, gave these kids a theme they can understand: school. Split into two warring scholastic squads: the Honor Rollers and the Pink Preps, their short but energetic match eventually showed the Rollers barely eking out a hard fought victory (59-57).
True to their name, the Honor Rollers immediately showed they had done their homework as (a jamming) Speedometer dodged and weaved her way through the pack with no difficulty. Scoring 13 points in the first jam, and setting her team off to a great start (13-0).
This swift start was then answered by one of the Derby Chicks' newest additions, the Pink Preps' Sink Her Bell. Racing around the track with the form of an adult jammer, you could practically see the Derby Darlins' coaches salivating at the thought of drafting her. Sink Her putting her team back in contention (13-12), in no time flat.
Rallying behind Sink Her's example, the Preps would spend the next two jams building a lead. First with newcomer Skid Knee boosting them into the lead (16-21). Then sealing it as Sink Her Bell pulled double duty tying up the Honor Rollers' Rage while Pink E brought in eight more (21-29).
Don't feel too bad for the Honor Rollers' shut-out Rage though, as she is quickly becoming one of the Derby Chicks most versatile skaters. Tonight she was demonstrating some technically apt skating moves such as having the wherewithal to slow down so that she stayed within the pack's boundaries. Doing so while she held the Pink Preps' jammer back (46-44).
Another Honor Roller who's been showing considerable growth throughout the bouts is Katastrophe. Tonight we saw that jam management is in the Derby Chick curriculum as Kat grabbed the lead, scored a few points, and then called off the jam before the Pink Preps could respond (55-47).
Which brings us to the final jam, a jam with Rage facing off against Sink Her Bell. Having spent the night trying to contain Sink Her, here the Honor Rollers finally found a way. (A way to slow her down, as stopping her still seems impossible.) The Honor Rollers managed to slow her just enough, curtailing her scoring so that when the jam was called early, due to a Preps' injury, the Preps were mere points away from an upset. The blocking, powered by some pivotal Speed Racer moves, ultimately holding the Pink Preps to (59-57), an Honor Rollers' victory.
As no school-themed event can conclude without the appropriate superlatives, the Tampa Bay Derby Chicks followed suit. With Gizmo awarded the Pink Preps top jammer, and Pink E likewise being their top blocker. For the Honor Rollers, it was Katastrophe as the top jammer, and Speed Racer as top blocker.
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