What we know: the Bradentucky Bombers' Bomb Squad is Bradentucky's premiere roller derby team. They come out when their opponent's fierce enough to warrant a sledgehammer instead of a flyswatter. Last Sunday (August 1st), the Bomb Squad took on an as-yet unseen opponent, Jacksonville's Tri-County Rolling Militia. (One assumes the "fighting for the name of Jacksonville stipulation put forth during last year's Sunshine Skate was true!) Jacksonville's name change wasn't the only thing difference, as Tri-County sported a whole new squad of skaters too. New and vicious skaters, as this bout would easily prove to be one of the most block-centric in recent memory. Forcing Bradentucky's Bomb Squad to pound, juke, and dash for every point in their (148-65) victory.
As the score indicates, Bradentucky's dominance was apparent by the 2nd jam. With Strawberry Shortsk8 knocking down anyone on wheels, Esther Gin n Juice had nothing to do but score points. And score big she did, eleven points in under two minutes (13-1).
Such big jams were not the norm though, as Tri-County's defense immediately tightened up. Pearl of Disorient stepping up here to end two Bomb Squad jams: Strawberry Shortsk8's and Esther Gin n Juice (18-3). Such physicality would remain the norm tonight, with Pearl leading her team in brutalizing their opposition. Hell, just watch the Shortsk8 clip again; see how bodies start falling as soon as she skates into the pack? On the track was a scary place to be tonight.
The track was also a scary place to be around, as the refs soon found their magisterial license revoked by both sides. No one: skater, ref, NSO, NAA (non-announcing announcer) was safe.
The defense would hold the scores steady for a few jams before a skater would burst the margins. With Tri-County scoring a succession of small victories only to lose out to Bradentucky's big wins (i.e. (22-3, 22-5, 22-9) then a jump to (32-12).)
The rampant physicality does come at a cost though, as Bradentucky started skating into penalty trouble midway through. Allowing Peggy Sueplex and Billi Bayonet the chance to rein the score back in. Running short jams and calling them off before the Bomb Squad's returning jammer could cause more damage (36-19). Or before Wild Cherri and/or Blaque Jac murdered them. Whichever comes first.
Billi Bayonet would get her time in the spotlight; being the first, and only, jammer to make lead without being touched by a blocker. Ending the first half with six points and ending her team's three jams long scoring drought (58-28).
The second half beginning with newly minted Bomb Squad(er) Crash Test Barbie strutting her stuff. Clocking in with 10 points in a minute, Barbie earned her number (200 mph) and her A-team membership (80-30).
Keeping with the unorthodox, relentless defensive pressure, Bradentucky's pack inexplicably got tighter after the half. So when Areal Nightmare, Nikki Stric-9, Blaque Jac, and Julia SeizeHer took the track, the resulting scuffle off the line came as no surprise. Neither was the resulting Peggy Sueplex power jam (95-35).
With her own defense locked down, Bomber Esther Gin n Juice chose to demonstrate a whole new style of jamming, cerebral jamming. In stark contrast to the just-plow-through-the-pack norm, Juice instead utilized scoring opportunities when encountered, rather than pressing for them. If, after a few aborted passes, you find that Lola D'Bruizsky is unavoidable? Call off the jam and save your time, energy, and health for a better opportunity. Realizing that scoring opportunities are a dime a dozen, great skaters aren't (105-53).
Even though Tri-County tried their best to hold on after Bradentucky broke the century mark, nothing could hold the Bomb Squad back. D'Bruizsky and Trouble Clef stifling a Blaque Jac run? Watch out, 'cuz Dita Von Cheats will just be gunning for you next. Wising up, Tri-County called off their last jam and choosing not to call a time-out; letting the clock run out before they ended up run-down (148-65).
The night's top MVPs were Peggy Sueplex (jamming) and Jane Doe TKO (blocking) for Tri-County, and Esther Gin n Juice (jamming) and Blaque Jac (blockage) for Bradentucky.
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