[Late to class? Missed the (action packed) proceedings? Well, let's do everyone a favor and click here to catch up. There will be a quiz later, and some of the answers might even turn up (t)here!]
Derby Detention's second half commenced the way every post-Junior Derby Chick halftime bout should: with tons of jammer on jammer action. Everyone loves it: the kids, adults, and even the occasional…
Ninja Monkey started the proceedings off by spitting in the face of caution as she went one-on-one against Black Widow Rojo Grande. Rojo took the licking, and kept right on skating; leaving her blockers to (woman)handle Ninja (41-66).
Next up to curb the endless appetite for jammer blood was Ram 'em Noodle. Noodle went after Cha Cha Crash with the type of vengeance that can only be had when a cutting call (or lack thereof) doesn't go your way. Getting no satisfaction from the refs, Noodle turned to her teammates for retaliatory conciliation.
Finding themselves unable to to make any headway offensively, the Switchblade Sisters then looked to find redress through dismantling the Black Widows. A strategy beautifully displayed after Widow Captain Bettie Kruger laid a frontline Sassy Ash out. As soon as Ash hit the track, fellow Sisters Sketch E. Artist and the aforementioned Noodle immediately took their fallen comrade's place stronger and more determined than before (43-71).
The vigorous defense from both teams, as the Black Widows surely couldn't/wouldn't allow such shenanigans to continue unanswered, then converged to bring about tonight's strangest offering. For it's not often you'll see ten jams go by with nary more than 26 points scored collectively. Consisting of a(ny) team's lead jammer calling the jam off immediately after losing the lead, but seemingly always before they could score more than a couple of points (51-89).
The Switchblade Sisters' last push came soon after, following a late Rojo Grande cut, ceding the ever present Ram 'em Noodle a power jam. The Sisters sprang into action, with Muse of Bruise, Ghola Lola, and Foxy del Fuego swarming around the unlucky Glitter Head-Splitter. Slowing down the pack, preventing a split pack, and demoralizing a rookie all in one fell swoop, the Sisters had a brief window of opportunity before Noodle herself fell victim to the ISS box. [What? See, I told you the earlier session was important!] Thus ending the Sisters' last chance to cause an upset (65-89).
Not even a quick Bash'em Up Barbie jam (69-92) could change the hard facts, time had run out and the Widows' defense was too tight Derby Detention ending with the Black Widows over the Switchblade Sisters (76-98).
Saving her a spot in the recap that mirrors her tactical position, Eliza Lot had spent nearly every jam lurking in the far reaches of the pack. Waiting for the Sisters' first time-unwitting, next time-dreading jammer to come around the first curve before hitting them with an all-star shoulder. Just watch the video! It worked nearly every time too, even after Muse of Bruise took to a one-on-one (dis)engagement strategy.
Again straying from the theme, Derby Detention gave awards to its occupants! With Muse of Bruise and Anita Bopabitch recognized as the "most disruptive" blockers, and Bash'em Up Barbie and Rojo Grande singled out for being the "most obnoxious(ly awesome)" jammers of the night.
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