Not content to run roughshod over Florida's roller derby with just their A-team Tampa Tantrums, this year the Tampa Bay Derby Darlins started a B-travel team, the Bruise Crew. The Crew supplements the league teams as a more focused Tantrum testing ground for Tampa's raw and unrefined talent. Perhaps best illustrated by their choice of team colors: a dark purple serving as a precursor to the Tantrums' bright pink.
Facing off last Saturday (08/21) against the newly minted Bruise Crew was the Fort Myers Misdemeanors. Arising from the palmetto'ed muck infesting the land between Punta Gorda and Naples, Lee County hadn't been represented in these parts since the Misdemeanors took on Bradentucky's Nuclear Bombshells in February. Do not mistake this lack of observed activity for inactivity though, as Fort Myers' own A-team, the Palm City Punishers, have been destroying all "up and coming" derby competition this year.
Which brings us to Saturday's Cruisin' for a Bruisin' bout. It was a hard match to predict; as the Bruise Crew has (nearly) no track record outside the individual skaters' league team contributions, and a (as of yet unheralded) win over the Molly Roger Rollergirls. While the Misdemeanors are coming shrouded in the mystique afforded them by Fort Myers' A-team, the Palm City Punishers.
Yet even though the Misdemeanors brought along the loudest cheering section this side of Franky Panky's Cincinnati Black Sheep's coaching staff[ or the Dallas Hell Razors' traveling crowd support, they still couldn't overtake an early established Bruise Crew lead. Giving Fort Myers a (rare) loss as well as continuing to build the Bruise Crew reputation in Florida's B-team roller derby ranks (119-188).
Too say things started off looking grim for Fort Myers would be an understatement; since (1-39) after ten minutes of action is quite the titular bruisin'! Misdemeanor Ali-Skator posting the first big increase for her team (14-57), as the Bruise Crew's Kitty Danger, Kitten Kicker, and Bad Credit kept the rest of Lee County in check. Tampa skating intelligently with short, productive jams; making for quite a highlight reel:
- Tampa's Reeces Tear Ya to Pieces channeling her inner-Lunch Lady by side-stepping and hopping her way through the pack (14-67). Later having the foresight to call off a jam mere seconds before Heinz would've connected with a _huge_ hit (14-85).
- A jamming Kitty Danger taking the word "offense" literally as she starts her jam by sending Fort Myers' jammer Fire & Ice straight into a waiting Bad Credit shoulder (14-71).
Fort Myers really wouldn't start asserting themselves until they forced Tampa's Ram 'em Noodle into a loooong cut. (Literally. The blow sending Noodle through the inside out-of-bounds curve straight across the track to the outside barrier. Possibly the greatest sports-related slide of the year.) As Noodle humbly paid for the infraction, Ali-Skator returned to the front scoring a grand slam before Run 'em Down Rhoda ran her down (29-87).
The Misdemeanors finishing the half with two more consecutively strong jams. First, Fire & Ice capitalizing off the remainder of Ali-Skator's power jam. Then, as Fort Myers' defense caught up to their mounting offense, the holes Jackscratch Fever and, a double-timing, Ali-Skator opened up the pack, aided the power jamming Heinz considerably. Ending the half by narrowing the point deficit to just under one-half at (60-111).
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