‘Why can’t he be more like me,’ by Poppy Smith, Harvest House Publishers, 2012, 224 Pages, ISBN-13: 978-0736943338m $12.99
When the honeymoon ends, sometimes months into a marriage, wives begin to wonder if they have anything in common with their spouse other than their marriage day. Mutual dreams and choices once shared with anticipation, excitement and intimacy now only divide and cause bad feelings—the result—arguments and marital discord. Some wives might even wonder if they made a “terrible mistake.”
In “Why can’t he be more like me,” Poppy Smith, with refreshing and humorous insights, offers “9 secrets to understanding your husband,” the subtitle of her new release. The book, organized into three sections, begins with why some marriages don’t live up to expectations.
In the first chapters readers discover why once cherished dreams turned into “frustration-producing” issues. Here, couples determine why different backgrounds, different personalities and dissimilar beliefs do matter and what can be done about it.
The second section includes topics like how to handle money, different spiritual beliefs, headaches and sex, the plague of pornography, negative self-talk and how to determine priorities. Chapters end with simple prayers from Poppy to her “sisters.”
The last chapter, “Where do I go from here,” is on personal perspectives and choices. The author’s focus is that good marriages don’t just happen, they take work, compromise and prayer from both parties, neither subservient to the other, but in equal partnership.
She uses the Bible as a guide to show what God intended a healthy marriage to look like. Then offers personal marital examples to demonstrate key points such as why your husband isn’t your “clone,” hormonal differences between men and women, the impossibility of changing anyone but yourself and much more.
Chapter seven’s topic of communication, “When I say this, he hears that,” is insightful and amusing. While every chapter offers practical tools, this chapter’s self-tests on personality type, sanguine, choleric, melancholy or phlegmatic, with corresponding “conversation killer” questions is funny, perceptive and spot on!
This well-crafted book provides the tools to understand prior influences and how those influences impact spouse’s expectations, especially for women committed to Christ. It would also be an excellent resource for use in classes, small groups, seminars or individually for wives and couples.
Poppy Smith, born in England and raised in Sri Lanka, Singapore and Kenya, brings refreshing honesty and humorous insights to marriage issues of incompatibility. For local practical, hands-on marital help, consider Dr. John Gottmans Relationship Institute in Seattle, WA. http://www.gottman.com/
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