JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND
“Can you smelllllllllllll, what the Rock, is cookin’?”
No, not really; because no actor is more Jekyll and Hyde these days than Dwayne Johnson. He shows up periodically on WWE’s Monday Night RAW in the Brahma Bull persona, threatening to “kick John Cena’s candy ass”, while transforming into the benevolent giant with all the correct social construction mantras as a smultzy gee-I-want-to-be-your-friend guy. Gone are the action heroes of FAST FIVE and FASTER and back is the hulking nerd from the TOOTH FAIRY and ESCAPE FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN. Still, without the screen persona of The Rock and Michael Caine, JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND wouldn’t be worth the time. They combine to provide performance repartee to carry along a rather insipid tale.
JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLANDis a sequel to JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH. Josh Hutcherson reprises his role as Sean Anderson, an adventurous youth who is also a Vernian - someone who believes religiously in the writings of Jules Verne. In the first, Sean traveled to the Earth’s core with his uncle, played by Brendan Frazier. This time around, Brendan is not to be found. Enter, the Rock, who has since moved in on Sean’s mom and is now his stepdad. I think Deep Purple has a song on “Machine Head” to cover this scenario.
A secret coded transmission from Sean’s grandfather, Alexander, played by Caine, sets the two off in search of Jules Verne’s Mysterious Island. Along the way they hire a tour guide, Gabato, played by Luis Guzman. Gabato just happens to have a vixen daughter, Kailana, played by Vanessa Hughes, who rocks Sean’s world. Guzman, who normally is one of the best ugly actors to watch, is atrocious. He is the foil for all the poop jokes and screams most of his lines, a la Tracey Morgan. The only scene he displays any of his considerable talent is his desperate battle with the rock of gold for Kailana’s sake. Vanessa, despite being 24 years old in real life, portrays prepubescent vixen fantasy, though she does have a rather amazing 3D ass shot. It’s not as mind-blowing as the ass hot in the 3D version of IMMORTALS, but it’s pretty good.
Screenwriters Brian and Mark Gunnrush the script. The purpose of the film is to display the wonders of the Island, so the circumstances leading to the troupe’s arrival are glossed over with a cursory appeal to pragmatism. As stated, they’ve managed to give Guzman all the worst lines in the script and leave plot holes so big one could pilot a helicopter through them.
The real star of JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND is Director of Photography David Tattersall. JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH was a mundane retelling of the Verne novel. It was celluloid notable because of its innovative 3D camera techniques, especially in the scenes featuring the Tyrannosaurus Rex. JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND breaks new ground in 3D cinematography incorporating 3D staging with 360 degree camera sweeps. It is the best element of the film.
So, JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND is just a campy, dubbed down comic book retelling of Jules Verne, much like the first film in the series. But, it does offer great cinematography and amazing 3D effects. Visually, this is the best 3D film since AVATAR. If you see JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND you must see it in 3D, otherwise you will be sorely sorry you sat through an insipid story. The 3D magic works and JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND turns into the visual extravaganza of the year.
Oh, and as a sidebar, the film opens with DUCK’S RHAPSODY, a Warner Bros Looney Toon starring Elmer Fudd and Daffy Duck. It’s great, incorporating all the elements that made Looney Toons hilarious and sent members of the Looney Liberal Left (3L) wailing and gnashing their teeth over cartoon violence and stereotypes.
Mel Blanc, who breathed life into a plethora of cartoon characters, does the voice characterizations. A Warner’s rep stated Blanc, who has been dead for quite some time, recorded the cartoon before he passed. A few of the technical trade journals I’ve read say parts of the dialogue were digitally pieced together in the post-production sweetening studio. In any event, it’s a great way to start a movie, and the cartoon had me uproariously laughing, more than I can ever say for Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler or Seth Rogen.
THE RATING FOR JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND = C
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JOURNEY 2: THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND rates only a 4/10, but the 3D cinematography is so exceptional, it earns two additional points. See this in 3D, so says THE RIGHT CRITIC, the most must read, conservative film critic in the nation.
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