We vegans are adventurous.
How else to explain the fearless spirit with which we give up normal food, diving unreservedly into an endless variety of meatless plant protein substitutes?
For the most part, the endless array of vegan food choices is tastefully satisfying; others take some getting used to; and still others, like Lightlife’s Smart Wings are downright bad.
To be fair, I’ve had LightLife’s faux hot dogs, sausages, and bratwursts before, and they are outstanding. Dressed up in sautéed onions, ketchup, mustard, and sautéed peppers and wrapped in a vegan hot dog bun, they delivered the goods…until I discovered they contained egg and are not vegan, after the fact.
Regardless, I checked my expectations at the door and picked up a package of Smart Wings at my local Whole Foods Market with a gift card I had received. Priced at $3.99-$4.99, I don’t usually splurge on them; so when I took the plunge, I brought them home, putting them in the fridge, just waiting for that Special Day when I would have me some wings.
Unfortunately, my wing fest was a huge disappointment.
Removing them from the plastic package they sure looked like wings; small little ones generously drenched in that fiery red wing sauce and just waiting to be nuked in the microwave. In anticipation, I had prepared a salad, complete with carrot and celery sticks and faux bleu cheese dressing for dipping. The only thing missing was a football game, or so I thought.
They looked like wings, they smelled like wings, but when I dug in and tasted them I was hit with a taste and texture like wet tennis shoe laces that made me recoil in surprise; and, Dear Reader, I like everything, which only makes this worse.
Bravely I chewed on, thinking---like some vegan food transitions---that this might take a bite or two to get used to, but alas, t’was not to get better.
Regrettably, the sauce was plentiful, but not flavored enough in the slightest to mask the offending ingredients. In an attempt to salvage them before dumping them in the garbage and rescuing my meal with Gardein meatless chicken tenders, I loaded them with hot sauce, to no avail.
To make matters worse, I discovered belatedly that many of Lightlife’s products that I thought were vegan contain egg, so stand warned and read the label carefully before purchasing.
Be sure to read more articles by Miami Vegan Examiner Glenn Osrin here.
Find and follow Glenn Osrin on twitter @wizardofosrin
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