Neuro is another brand in a long line of functional energy drink companies coming out with dozens of favors for dozens of specific functions, like Neuro-sleep, Neuro-bliss and Neuro-energy. Of all of the different kinds I can find in my local 7 11, the first one I am attracted to is Neurogasm - not only because it is bright red, but also because Neurogasm is one of the more funny and goofy energy drink brands I have ever heard. It just rolls off the tongue; Neurogasm, Neurogasm, Neurogasm.
In all honesty am already biased towards this company and their drinks, and find it a bit difficult to maintain my impartiality. I found this drink when it was not yet available nationwide - discovering it on a trip to San Francisco. I asked Neuro for samples of their energy products, and was refused. Unlike Hansens and Rockstar that Do Not Send Samples to Anyone Ever, these people actually took the time to write to me to tell me that I would not be receiving samples from them. No one likes rejection.
But now these drinks are everywhere. In my travels around the country I find these bottles all over the place - and with good reason; with great functional categories and such a unique bottle shape - these drinks have the chance to be something special.
My first foray into Neuro products, Neurogasm, kinda missed the mark though. Except for the name, there is not a whole lot of reason to buy this one. And, after visiting their website, it seems like they might have taken enough slack to change their product name from the very amusing Neurogasm to the much less exciting Neuro Passion. While I might not be in love with the product, the one reason I might have purchased it again was for the funny awesome name - now there is almost no reason to enjoy them again. Without the implied sexual boost, the energy or the flavor, the only thing left was the cool brand name - which is gone now too.
Packaging:9
One thing going for Neuro is the very unique bottle - unlike anything else out there - except for maybe a lava lamp or shampoo bottle. It is certainly unlike any energy drink bottle I have seen before- from the oddly tapered lid to the extra squishy contoured canister. You can not help giving the bottle a good squishing sas it empties out. This has got to be one of the most original and well produced bottles out there. There is a reason this brand won Bevnet's Best Functional Beverage for 2010. I didn't want to throw the bottle away - trying to think of a reason to keep it around.
However, it needed a little more help on the functional side. There is no list of caffeine, so you don't know if you are taking a huge dose or something that will give you a little boost - something you want to know if you are taking it during intimate moments. There is no listing for any ingredients in their unique blend - which is pretty annoying - and takes away from what would be a stellar design.
Taste:3
Neurogasm certainly did not win that Bevnet award because of how this tastes - a mix of odd fruits and berries that I have yet to see anyone enjoy. I bought three bottles to try during various situations, and of the near dozen people that I had sample it - their reaction went from mildly distasteful to absolute disgust. There is just no way someone would buy this because it they love the flavor.
When you first pop the top - the smell is nice. Unfortunately, my memory kicks in and I am reminded of strawberry shampoo because of the bottle shape. Fortunately, it does not taste like shampoo, although it does not taste terribly good either. Neurogasm is lightly carbonated, which helps with the cloying citrus slightly berry flavor, and the nutrients and herbs are front and center in the flavor profile - giving it the odd mix of tasting medicinal and vitamin-y.
Buzz:3
Neuro has a number of products with caffeine in them - and I hope to be trying them all soon enough. Of course, the one I try first is the sex-themed one... Unlike other aphrodisiacs, Neurogasm is not a drink to help make you feel more sexy, try to be a liquid viagra nor give you an orgasm, which is a real shame. Instead, according to the label it is supposed to support healthy circulation (not sexy) provide playful energy (not completely sexy - although the word 'playful' hints at slight naughtiness), helps support the pleasure response (no idea what this means, but has the words pleasure in it) and promotes healthy aging (WTH??? is healthy aging sexy?). So it seems That the difference between Orgasms and Neurogasms is one makes you feel good, and the other helps you age more energetically and pleasurably?
Well, unfortunately, it did none of those things. The caffeine in here is not listed but very minimal - my guess is around a Diet Mountain Dew's worth of caffeine. Nothing is very energetic about this mix - and I was able to even drowsy enough to want to a nap about 10 minutes after drinking. Not Sexy. Also, the ingredients do not seem to be very sexifying either. L-theanine is a fun ingredient - and one I particularly like to help keep focus and mental alertness. There is also Alpha GPC, Phosphatidylserine and unsurprisingly a big dose of B-vitamins. Alpha GPC is a very mild mental booster which you will not feel unless you happen to already be suffereing from Dementia or Alzheimers, and the jury is still out as to whether Phosphatidylserine does anything to you at all - and might be very dependent as to where they get this and in what dose.
Overall I am not impressed with my first Neuro experience. While other flavors might be more what I am looking for, I wonder if their response to me was less a rejection letter - and more like why they never let movie critics into previews of bad B films; the fear of rejection might go both ways. Still, with such a beautiful bottle and interesting ingredients, I am hoping Neuro might be redeemed in another of their ever-growing line of drinks.
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