*Contains spoilers and a BITE of sarcasm - HA HA!*
So what happened this past Monday on TWD? As per usual the gang is up to their old tricks, doing everything in their power to ward off zombies and cultivate a new life, a new beginning, a new place to call home inside the prison walls. Only problem is that walkers are being drawn to the prison’s barb-wired fences. “They are coming in bigger hoards,” says Mama Bear Carol. While there are plenty of volunteers (from former city of Woodbury) standing by the fence stabbing all the walkers in the face, it just isn’t cutting it.
As if outside dangers aren’t enough, some curious disease might be developing right there inside the prison walls. Could these threats be related? Is that why zombies are coming in droves? Inside, pigs named Violet are mysteriously dying and new cast members named Patrick are developing coughs, that turn into nausea, and finally lead to them dying in the shower at the end of the episode. Maybe I have what Patrick had. Some of the symptoms do look similar. If you find me keeled over in my apartment don’t say I never said the zombie apocalypse was coming.
Of course, this increase in walkers could also be because of that sneaky Governor. Remember him? Yeah, he was an ass.
Speaking of the G-dog, Michonne is still furiously hunting him. In fact, she spends more time out roaming the prairie on her horse then she does hanging out in the prison with these sickly folks. Girl’s got a sweet tooth for revenge, and...a knack for bringing Carl comic books? Perhaps they’ll have their own Comic-A-Zombie-Con in the prison? That’s a strange relationship those two have, maybe we’ll learn more about it later!
Moving on, Rick has gone even further off the deep end since Lori’s death and all that bizarro crap with the G-Dog. These days he fancies putting in his ipod earbuds and farming the lot around the prison in hopes to harvest some self-sustaining vegetables. In the middle of his harvesting he happens to dig up a gun. Then he takes a break to have a long staring contest with it, then takes another break to have a long staring contest with some zombie on the other side of the fence who doesn’t have any eyes. Talk about the path of least resistance. Yawn.
Later he goes out to check traps and meets some Irish lady who looks like a diseased zombie.
“My husband and I have no place to go, can we come stay with you?” she asks, looking super shady.
“Sure,” Rick says. “I’ll walk a long way with you into the woods to meet this guy. Then I’m going to ask you 3 magical questions. If you get them right, then I, Genie Rick, will grant you your wish and allow you to come and harvest vegetables with me!”
Rick is still trying to reconcile all his complicated feelings about his (estranged) dead wife, new baby girl, and his cold-blooded killer of a son, Carl, so clearly he just isn’t making the best decisions.
They walk a long time. Yes, her hubby is a zombie. Yes, she was just going to try to feed Rick to him. But oh! Suddenly, she decides to kill herself so she can live zombie-love forever! This is when we learn that sometimes stupidity does run in the family, because instead of shooting both walkers in the head, an uneasy Rick just leaves them behind. Carl throwing stones at a walker, anyone? Dale getting chomped as a result, anyone? Get it together, Rick. Stop making stupid decisions. Blah.
Glenn and Maggie think they are pregnant, but it turns out they aren’t. Good. That would also be really stupid.
Beth is dating a mini-version of Daryl. I can’t remember his name, but he dies anyway so it doesn’t really matter. He got bitten during a store raid saving some other guy who was trapped. Sometimes nice gestures DON’T pay off, folks. I suspect this makes Beth happy, though, because it gives her an opportunity to get hands-y with Daryl.
“I don’t cry anymore, Daryl,” she coos like a vixen, then wraps her arms around him, pretending like she isn’t dead inside like we all know she is. Go back to singing, Beth.
What else - ah, yes! Herschel has a prosthetic leg! I bet he’ll use it as a weapon later!
Carol and Daryl are still doing a little bit of Freudian flirting. They should stop that. It’s creepy.
Carl is in some sort of “Fathers Against Kids With Guns” rehab program because Rick finally took his gun away. Carl is also acting like he’s too good for 'story hour', but we all know he longs to have his pre-blowing-people’s-brains-out-childhood back. He decides to visit ‘story hour’, where he finds Carol reading the other children Tom Sawyer. But not for long. Soon she flashes them a chest full of knives and says, “Alright, kiddos, we’re going to talk about knives, how to use them, how to slice with them, etc.”
That’s right, Mama Bear knows what needs to be done.
Carl, the reaper of souls, looks horrified by this and runs away. Whatever, Carl. I’m sick of your shenanigans.
Things I suspect we’ll see next week: Carl tattle on Carol, the group fight about what to do with the plague that is taking over their livestock and fellow cellmates, more preggo talk between all the couples, and if we’re lucky maybe Rick will grown a tomato or two!