Written by Markus Robinson, Edited by Nicole I. Ashland
Markus Rating: 2 out of 5 Stars
Rated PG-13 for an accident scene, sexual content, partial nudity and some language
Now playing at Century 20 Oakridge Mall in San JoseCalifornia:
I swear, the only purpose of films like “The Vow” are to make the rest of us guys look bad. Directed in ample fashion by Michael Sucsy (Grey Gardens) , but written by a trio of “B” rate romantic comedy writers, including Abby Kohn (Valentine’s Day), Marc Silverstein (He’s Just Not That Into You) and Jason Katims, “The Vow” works not on the theory that “love conquers all”, but on the lesser addressed notion of: good guys always finish last, but if they stay loyal (like dogs) they will eventually get the girl they want.
The “The Vow”, if you don’t know by now, is about this fairly annoying couple (played by Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum). You know the type. The far too quirky couple who continuously acts as if they are perpetually in their honeymoon phase, in public. Anyways, this couple, who has been married for four years, is in a car crash where the wife, Paige, loses her memory. Well, she doesn’t lose her memory entirely; just (conveniently) the memories that include her life with her husband, Leo. So, if Leo really loves Paige, he must work to make her fall in love with him all over again. I don’t want to scoff at or downplay this lame premise too much because it is based on a true story, but COME ON! This sounds like a Nicholas Sparks story on steroids. And in fact if you are a fan of the lesser Nicolas Sparks film adaptations (The Last Song, Dear John), “The Vow” might be right up your alley. BUT still, there are some major issues here that may work to disappoint even the most fierce sappy-romantic film addicts. Because truth be told, the premise of “The Vow” is exponentially more interesting than anything the movie has to offer.
As predictable as “The Vow” is, it is not the storyline that lets the movie down, it is one poorly written character and some vanilla dialogue which cements it in melodramatic mediocrity. I mean, Tatum, simply said, is not a good actor. And in scenes where he is forced to act side by side with McAdams (a real actor), his poor acting prowess is only accentuated. But with that said, it doesn’t help that his character Leo is the sappiest and most unrealistic man who ever written; and that may be a HUGE reason why this film is geared towards females. If you think I am exaggerating I can assure you that I am not. This guy is so sappy and annoying, that when the audience is suppose to feel bad for this guy as the movie progresses, he becomes so pitiful that by the end you will want him to fail. While all this may sound as if I am being a heartless MAN, if you don’t believe me, go see “The Vow” for yourself. I can’t make this stuff up.
Writing for men: Many instances in Hollywood films, there are writers that produce screenplays that contain poorly written female characters. In these cases, the woman will be more of a prop than an actual fully developed person. She will be a supporting, stand by your man, subservient character, whose sole purpose is to get the man where he needs to go. With “The Vow” just the opposite holds true. The film seems as if it were written by writers who don’t know how to write for men. While the female cast is given characters that are more vibrant and have lively back-stories, Tatum is given a character that has little substance (if any at all) and can be only described only as “nice guy husband”. This makes the Leo character so unrealistic, that his sweet gestures, which are meant to seem romantic, come off as phony. Furthermore, his character is so one dimensional and effeminate on many occasions (not to say guys can’t be effeminate), that even the section of audience that bought a ticket just to see Tatum get the girl, will find his character tedious and undesirable at times.
Final Thought: At the end of the day, this movie is what it is. If you are expecting romantic greatness then you’ve come to the wrong place, because most of “The Vow” is very love story paint-by-numbers. But if you are looking for a fluff-piece to get you though Valentine’s Day, because your significant other forgot to plan a nice dinner, then “The Vow” may be what you are looking for. In a nutshell, the main reason why “The Vow” is a subpar romantic movie is simpler than just “the acting was bad” or “the dialogue was poorly written”. In a nutshell, “The Vow” doesn’t work simply because not for one minute was I invested in any of the characters on-screen. And that is the kiss of death for any romantic film.
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