Written by Markus Robinson, Edited by Nicole I. Ashland
Markus Rating: 1 out of 5 Stars
Rated R for some bloody images and language
What can I say about “The Innkeepers”, the new horror film from budding writer/director Ti West, other than: it’s about a scary as watching grass grow. Literally playing out like a bad and very long episode of “Are You Afraid of the Dark” or the lesser known “Goosebumps” television series, “The Innkeepers” tells the story of two employees, one played by Sara Paxton doing her best Alexis Bledel impression (as if anybody even knows who those two actresses are) who work at the Yankee Pedlar Inn on the last days before the hotel goes out of business. Oh, did I mention that these two employees are also amateur ghost hunters? ANYWAYS…they decide to make it a point (on their final weekend open) to uncover the haunted past of The Yankee Pedlar Inn, which centers around a ghost story about a woman who died in the hotel, who may or may not hold a secret that nobody outside of this movie will care about. As much potential as that synopsis had, “The Innkeepers” is nothing more than bland and frightless (yes, that means lacking of fright), almost 100% due to some of the worst directing I have ever seen. Even the few scenes that have the potential to be scary are ruined by West’s need to forcefully work in some awful deadpan humor. Hence, every single “ghost-scare” is awkward. And worst of all, “The Innkeepers” is a horror movie that ISN’T SCARY AT ALL! End result: if you are a fan of “The House of the Devil” (another film by Ti West) like I was, you will hate this movie. And if you haven’t been introduced to the likes of Ti West, then “The Innkeepers” will make you want to run out of the theater screaming, “Someone, please give me a refund!”
Side Note: I used to be a huge backer of West’s work, ever since he got the screwed job by Lions Gate Productions over the horrid recut of “Cabin Fever 2”. But “The Innkeepers” was so bad that I may have to rethink my stance on his work all together.
Another thing that bothered me: The fact that the entire structure of this film (visuals aside) is so disjointed, points to a huge reason why “The Innkeepers” is seemingly impossible to get into. And when I use the term “disjointed” I am directly speaking of the editing style used here. I don’t know if this movie was intentionally edited this way, but there are plotlines that lead nowhere, mother and son characters that are in half of the movie then just exit for no reason, an old man who seems intricate to the plot development, but his involvement in the story is never explained and worst of all, the main plot point about the woman who now haunts the Yankee Pedlar Inn is never explained to any point of satisfaction. If I hadn’t heard West make a statement about how he had written, directed and edited this film himself, then I would be under the strong impression that this was yet another one of his movies that was taken away from him, only to be recut by the “big bad” production company.
Final Thought: “The Innkeepers” must be what amateur film hell is like; and West isn’t even an amateur. Cringe inducing dialogue, a plot which slowly paces forward to a lackluster conclusion and a movie monster (ghost) that visibly looks cheap and old fashioned(like a zombie out of the original 1968 “Night of the Living Dead”) does not a fun time at the movies make. And while I do understand that West may have been trying to create a Sam Raimi (Drag Me to Hell, The Evil Dead) type of horror camp atmosphere, the end result is a movie that is severely lacking in the entertainment department, while simultaneously lacking in scares. And to think, there are a large number of critics that loved this film for some reason. Unbelievable!
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