Over the years, there have been an abundance of "Texas Chainsaw" remakes, sequels and prequels. Now, we're presented with a film that throws all of that out of the window in order to start anew. "Texas Chainsaw 3D" (2013) slashed its way to the top of the box office this weekend with $23 million.
The film picks up where the original left off. The trigger happy and insane Sawyers have been cornered by Sheriff Hooper (Thom Barry of "Cold Case") and a group of locals. All Sheriff Hooper wants is for the Sawyers to hand over Leatherface (Dan Yeager) to the authorities. Before the Sawyers can comply, the group of locals, led by Burt Hartman (Paul Rae of "True Grit"), incite a shootout and murder everyone in the house. Afterwards, they set the house on fire in hopes of destroying any remaining survivors. Little do they know, a woman and her child have escaped. Gavin Miller (David Born of "Temple Grandin") and his wife Arlene (Sue Rock of "Varsity Blues") take the baby as their own.
Years later, that child has grown into a young woman named Heather (Alexandra Daddario of "Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief"). She's been contacted by Farnsworth (Richard Riehle of "Office Space"), who informs her that the grandmother she never knew has passed away and left her entire estate to Heather. The young woman, along with her three friends, set off to Texas in order to claim her inheritance. On the way, they pick up a shady, but attractive, hitchhiker named Darryl (Shaun Sipos of "Final Destination 2"). When the group arrives at the house, they discover something more sinister lurking beneath the mansion's rich exterior.
I tried my hardest to give this film the benefit of the doubt. Most "slasher" films aren't expected to contain breakout performances worth of an Academy Award. They're staged for pure entertainment. "Texas Chainsaw 3D" doesn't really provide much of that. Sure, the film pays homage to the original flick and it even has a couple of "cringe in your seat" moments, but overall it was dimwitted and quite comical. Some of the one-liners were absolutely laughable, and the plot twists (which actually had real potential) were smashed in the last few minutes and reached its peak too fast for me to care that it'd actually happened.
The film's one saving grace (besides the "Evil Dead" trailer) is the violence. The kill count wasn't through the roof but it was a bloody affair. I'm also not usually a fan of 3D films, but having blood spatter seem right in your face actually saved me from thinking I'd completely wasted my money. There wasn't anything unique from the other films and some of the gore has been seen in previous "Texas Chainsaw" films.
"Texas Chainsaw 3D" definitely isn't for everyone. I, for one, consider it the best comedy of the year. A few of you may walk out of the theater fully satisfied for receiving your fair share of blood, gore and boobs; an even smaller amount of you might actually see it more than once. However, if I were you, I would wait for this one to come out DVD. Show times can be found here.
Little Rock Movie Examiner's rating: 1.0 out of 5 stars
MPAA rating: R
Minimum Age Group: 17+
Sexuality: Partial nudity, implied sex, kissing, innuendos
Language: Many uses of the f-word; explicit language throughout
Violence: Grisly violence throughout
Drugs/Alcohol: Marijuana, social drinking
Themes/Issues: Serial murder
Similar titles coming out soon: "Storage 24" (January 11), "The Last Exorcism Part II" (March 1), "Evil Dead" (April 12)
Other films you may like: "Friday the 13th" (1980), "Cabin Fever" (2002), "Saw" (2004), "The Collection" (2012)