Four girls are sick of the town they live in once spring break rolls around in "Spring Breakers." With so little cash saved up from the start of the year, Cotty (Rachel Korine), Brit (Ashley Benson), and Candy (Vanessa Hudgens) rob a chicken shack to get the money they need without their religious friend Faith (Selena Gomez) knowing anything about it. Their dream vacation full of alcohol, drugs, and half naked college guys comes to a screaming halt after the four of them are arrested. With no money left, the girls are bailed out by a local druglord named Alien (James Franco) who seems to have unsettling plans for them.
Most of this 94-minute cinematic experiment doesn't even feel like a film. A bunch of partying in slow-motion set to dubstep, hip hop, and James Franco saying, "Spring break," 12 times in a row doesn't exactly move the story along. Are you ready to get jacked up on God? TNA wrestler and co-founder Jeff Jarrett is and appears in the film as a casual priest. One of the funniest lines is when Faith is smoking and hanging out with these two nameless girls. One of them tells Faith that she should "pray super hardcore" since she's going to Florida with Brit and Candy.
Everything is built around going to Florida, getting away from it all, and doing bong hits in a stranger's house or snorting coke off of someone's stomach that they just met or performing fellatio when you don't have enough tip money. Partying, sex, booze, and drugs; that's all these girls care about. Forget finishing your education. Pass that blunt and schedule a few three-ways to find the true meaning of life. And don't forget to pretend to blow your brains out as often as possible.
However, the chicken shack robbery is done really well. You sit in the passenger seat as a masked Cotty circles the restaurant while Brit and Candy rob the place with plastic squirt guns and a hammer. You get brief glimpses of the chaos inside whenever Cotty passes by a window. James Franco is simultaneously fantastic and really annoying. The Alien character is so repetitive and he often ruins good lines by making them completely redundant. Some of his dialogue is hilarious though as is a certain slo-mo robbery montage he's a part of.
Alien is really unpredictable, as well. He rides this really uneasy wave when he first shows up and seems to purposely welcome an uncomfortable atmosphere. The girls get especially nerve-grating since half of them act like their junk is bigger than every guy they come into contact with while the other two tuck their tail between their legs and go back home when things don't go as planned. You're hanging out with a drug dealer and teasing sweaty dudes you just met with your naked body. You're in college. You should know this will end badly.
Slap an ice cream tattoo on your face and get ready for "Spring Breakers." It's like a music video mash-up with no real point. This is like The Prodigy’s video for “Smack My Bitch Up” stretched out for an hour and a half. James Franco is kind of awesome despite being a constant broken record on repeat. With all of its gun sucking, constant references to Britney Spears, and overall dirtiness, you'll feel like you'll need a hot shower and a penicillin shot after viewing "Spring Breakers."
"Spring Breakers" was released today, March 22 in theaters everywhere.