Hello, readers. It has been a long time. When my local comic store closed down I was left with an inability to review comics on a regular basis. I hope to change that with this week’s column. We have a few comics to review from the new 52 and let me tell you that it ain’t pretty. Let’s get in to it.
Teen Titans #6: The Teen Titans are still trying to find their footing as a team. They are coming together thanks to events like the attack from Superboy and the fact that Kid Flash is on the verge of dying. So they enlist the help of recently cancelled Static Shock to help with the Kid Flash situation since, you know, a teenage superhero is obviously smarter and better equipped to figure this out than anyone else on the planet. I think what static shocks me the most is that the same person writes this title and Superboy, but I enjoy Superboy 10 times more than this. None of the characters seem to be meshing well, and have the team looks like 90s Image Comics rejects. There was an interesting side story involving Kid Flash’s past, but not enough to warrant purchasing this particular issue. Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars
Flash #6: I believe this is the first appearance of Captain Cold in the new 52. He’s hip, he’s slick, and he’s cool. Pun intended. However, what he is not is interesting. He now possesses freezing powers instead of using gadgets, but it is not explained how that is. The time line keeps jumping around all over the place too. It is not difficult to follow it is just annoying. The artwork is nice, but the story left me wanting more. Rating: 2.5 out of 5 stars
Batman: The Dark Knight #6: I had no idea what was going on in this story. That’s my own fault for not reading the previous issues. What I can figure is that Batman thinks some sort of poison has infected the Flash. However, it is the Flash that figures out that it is actually venom, the drug that gives Bane his massive strength. Thank God for the Flash, cause now Batman doesn’t need to figure things out in his own book anymore. Anyways, enter Bane and he starts fighting Batman. He’s the interesting part; Bane mentions that he’s broken Batman’s back. In the old DCU that would be correct. However, in the new DCU the superheroes have only been operating for about 5 years. So in five years both Batman AND Batgirl have suffered broken backs AND recovered enough to go back to fighting crime? With technology like that there shouldn’t be one handicapped person in that universe. Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
Superman #6: Supergirl shows up to stop a crazed Superman. We learned last issue that the real Superman is trapped in space, while this Superman is a nanobyte something or other that assimilated itself to replicate Superman. Anyway, I have two major problems with this issue. One, the man that Supergirl saves at the beginning of the issue calls her a floozy after she rescues him from falling to his death. Right after. Awesome. Two, and this is the problem I’ve had with this series since it started, there is commentary describing the action that is taking place. Isn’t that the job of the artwork? When Supergirl is punching Superman I don’t need a commentator telling me that Supergirl is punching Superman. I can see it with my own eyes. It’s right there on the page. Then when the real Superman shows up, he takes the fake Superman to the Arctic or somewhere, and while fighting him, explains the fake Superman’s plan TO the fake Superman. He already know what he did, you don’t have to explain it to him. Then Supergirl finally catches up to them and asks Superman how he figured everything out and Superman says he’ll tell her later. NO! That is the person you should have been explaining everything to, not the other way around. I’m thankful that DC will be switching writers for this series in the next month or two. You can’t have the writing for your flagship character in his own book being this horrible. It shouldn’t have been allowed to go this far. Rating: 1.5 out of 5 stars
Aquaman #6: Here’s the thing; other than fish jokes being in every single issue, I have really enjoyed this series so far. I think it is one of the better ones to come out of the DC reboot. This issue focuses on Mera, Aquaman’s wife. It starts off with her going to the grocery store to buy food for their recently adopted dog, and ends with me wishing I had never heard of Aquaman. The store manager is hitting on Mera, he starts playing with her hair, and then tries to take off her clothes…. in the middle of the store in front of plenty of witnesses. When Mera defends herself, security shows up and pulls their guns on her. What? I know it is a fictional setting, but I thought the DCU still had followed our laws and rules for the most part. I didn’t realize that getting fondled and molested in a public place was considered a compliment, and that Mera was out of line for rejecting that compliment. Then later on in the issue, there are more fish jokes! Good gravy this is horrible. To top it off, Mera surrendered herself in to police custody so that she could help stop a man from killing his daughter. She does this and then flees from police custody, which of course upsets the police. Later, a clerk from the store that Mera was molested at shows up and her and Aquaman’s residence (they live in a lighthouse), and brought her some dog food cause she felt bad for what happened earlier. My question is how did this lady know where to find Mera, but the police that she fled from don’t? Geoff Johns should be ashamed of himself for writing this. Rating: 0 out of 5 stars
Quote of the Week: “Don’t waste your money” – Erik Hand
Book of the Week: I can’t recommend any of these in good conscience. Maybe next week.
If you live in the Phoenix area, and insist on buying these, or actually buy good books, you can do so at Samurai Comics.
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