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Review: See 'Unhung Hero'—about a guy's small penis—to feel good about yourself

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Unhung Hero

Rating:
Star4
Star
Star
Star
Star

(Breaking Glass Pictures' UNHUNG HERO, hits iTunes in the US/Canada on February 18, 2014 and Israel on February 15th. Click here: https://itunes.apple.com/us/movie/unhung-hero/id784493975) It's worth it!

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Patrick Moote thinks he has a big problem, well, a small problem. He starts off his movie saying, "I'm Patrick Moote and I have a small penis."

What continues is nearly an hour-and-a-half of his hysterical search to find out why guys (and gals) are obsessed with size, and why they feel so inadequate about their private parts.

He goes to his former girlfriends, who essentially emasculate him; then he goes to his childhood friends and home in Seattle who nicknamed him "pickle dick" when he was younger. Then, he talks to his dad, who admits, "Well, I'm a little hanger" and thinks he should have talked to his son more about those issues.

He finally gets a female urologist to confirm that Moote is "the boy equivalent of a girl with an A cup." He is very sad, so he decides to figure out what to do about it.

The journey is comical in its sincere absurdity. He seeks out his pediatrician, he talks to porn stars and he even hangs weights on his penis.

He turns to jelquing (you have to see the movie to get the details) and pumping and pills day after day and he measures (off camera), and he discusses the issue with average people. As tragic as it sounds, it's all very funny.

Moote is an average guy-next-door, handsome and cute and very tongue-in-cheek along the way. He tackles the troubles with his tally-whacker with direct action.

Dr. Joel Kaplan, the penis pump king, is one of the people he seeks advice from, and after a month of trying three different techniques he actually lost 1/16th of an inch.

He turns to some people that I know personally (Ron Jeremy, Dr. Carol Queen, Robert Lawrence and Annie Sprinkle) with some soothing reactions. And yes, I've also met Jonah Falcon in New York, who's known as the guy with the world's largest penis.

Robert Lawrence from the Center of Sex & Culture talks about his Masturbat-athon that he has every year for charities, and Annie Sprinkle gave him some breathing exercises. He visited Dr. Carol Queen at Good Vibrations who showed him some dildos and talked about other ways of pleasing a partner.

And Ron Jeremy even tells him, "A good tongue is more important."

The search goes world wide. He goes to the place where men have the smallest penises (Korea) where they also have the largest penis sculptures. One expert there says that if men are more monogamous, they tend to have smaller penises.

He tries all kinds of other odd delicacies, such as worms, turtles and rooster testicles, and then he plans to have an injection, but chickens out. He checks out plastic surgery, too.

This Breaking Glass Pictures's release by director Brian Spitz was a hit at the South by Southwest Film Festival earlier this year. It's billed as the world's first "cockumentary." Moote's inspiration was kicked off when he was made a national fool when his marriage proposal is rejected before an arena full of people--and millions of YouTube viewers. His ex then tells him his equipment is too small to satisfy and he embarks on a quest to get to the root of man-kind's biggest--or smallest--problem. The film features Moote's worldwide travels and interviews.

Oscar-winning documentary director Michael Moore told Moote and Spitz: "I love your film." (And it's true like they say in their press material: "Male or female, LGBT, straight or hanging slightly to the left or right, you will, too.")

They show some actual hard-to-swallow penis surgery and Moote throwing up about it, and it has a fantastic ending.

This will have you thinking and laughing, and ultimately feeling good about yourself.

You can find "Unhung Hero"playing at the Arena Cinema in Hollywood and then being sold on DVD on Dec. 10. For more information go here: https://www.facebook.com/unhungheromovie

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