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Reaper Bones review #229: Dark Fairy

Dark Fairy-slide0
Michael Tresca

Dark Fairy


For the remainder of the Reaper Bones reviews, Talien AKA Tal (the satyr paladin) and Maleficent AKA Mal (the half-fey/half-fiend sorceress) will review familiars as part of a new series, "That Familiar Show," a sort of fantasy dog show. In this installment, they review a dark fairy.

Mal: Welcome back to another episode of "That Familiar Show" where we review the weird, wacky, and just plain pathetic world of familiars.

Tal: In today's installment we interview the dark fairy--

Mal: Our first REAL talking familiar.

Tal: You're not going to forgive me for the whole ventriloquist zombie thing are you?

Mal: As I was SAYING...your good-aligned druid might want a happy pixie to follow him around, sprinkling everything with fairy dust and glowing cutely. That's not this guy.

Dark Fairy (DF): Hiya.

Mal: Welcome. So what kind of fairy are you?

DF: The Seelie-type.

Tal: The kind who will stab you in the back...

DF: ...or take your teeth right out of your mouth and shove a gold piece in your pie hole for your trouble.

Tal: That is very specific.

Mal: What have you got on your back there?

DF: A backpack.

Tal: And that's a spear?

DF: Yeah. It's hooked for use in teeth extraction.

Tal: You bring teeth up a lot.

DF: Falling out with my former mistress.

Mal: We've all been there. What kind of type do you prefer?

DF: I like tall, dark green women with horns.

Mal: I was talking about your arcane master, short stuff, but good try.

Tal: Wow, swing and a miss.

DF: I'm looking for a new mistress.

Tal: So I'm just going to guess here worked for the tooth fairy right?

DF: How could you tell?

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