For the remainder of the Reaper Bones reviews, Talien AKA Tal (the satyr paladin) and Maleficent AKA Mal (the half-fey/half-fiend sorceress) will review familiars as part of a new series, "That Familiar Show," a sort of fantasy dog show. In this installment, they review Stumpy.
Mal: Welcome back to "That Familiar Show." Today, we're discussing a tree stump. No really, this is an animated tree stump. His name is Stumpy. See what Reaper did there?
Tal: Stop me if you've heard this one before: A man walks into a stump.
Mal: I've heard this before. Please stop.
Tal: It says "Ow!"
Mal: You don't really hear anything I say, do you?
Tal: Did you say something?
Tal: Stumpy is an animated tree root. He's probably some form of druid familiar, although that may be giving him too much credit.
Mal: He might be a baby treant.
Tal: Or maybe he's just a coffee table looking for a home.
Mal: He's probably a twig blight.
Tal: A twig what?
Mal: A twig blight. Small chaotic evil plants with a special taste for blood.
Tal: So they don't just make food through photosynthesis?
Tal: They must have invented the phrase, "Blood makes the grass grow, kill, kill, kill!"
Tal: Twig blights totally invented it.
Mal: Sure they did. Twig blights can be bound with the improved familiar feat with an alignment one step away from chaotic evil, or subtype plant or fey, caster level 5.
Tal: In any case, if for some reason you need a tiny guy made of wood, Stumpy is your man.
Mal: Or woman!
Tal: It's hard to tell. Flip him over.
You can purchase this miniature at Amazon.
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