For the remainder of the Reaper Bones reviews, Talien AKA Tal (the satyr paladin) and Maleficent AKA Mal (the half-fey/half-fiend sorceress) will review familiars as part of a new series, "That Familiar Show," a sort of fantasy dog show. In this installment, they review a faerie dragon.
Tal: On today's episode of "That Familiar Show," we're talking faerie dragons.
Mal: Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Tal: Are you going to make that joke every time I say the word faerie?
Mal: I'm part fey, I'm allowed to make that joke.
Tal: In Dungeons & Dragons, faerie dragons are pretty much the ultimate familiar after pseudodragons.
Mal: It's true. They can fly, they're smart, they can turn invisible, and they can knock enemies into an euphoric haze with their breath weapon.
Tal: Besides their size, the one defining feature of faerie dragons is their butterfly wings. They're pretty ridiculous.
Mal: Excuse me?
Tal: What kind of dragon has butterfly wings! How is it going to fly with those little floppy wings? It's a dragon for crying out loud!
Mal: And you know all about fey, hmm?
Tal: Well I am a satyr.
Mal: You have a point.
Tal: And she's not just talking about my horns. Am I right folks? FIST BUMP!
Mal: Saying that just makes you sound stupid.
Tal: Okay, HOOF BUMP!
Mal: What is this, My Little Pony? I can turn into a dragon, and I'm party fey. Add that together and I know more about faerie dragons than you do, and I'm telling you it's entirely common for faerie creatures to have butterfly wings.
Tal: Wow you're awfully defensive about this.
Mal: Am not!
Tal: You didn't by any chance have butterfly wings once did you?
Mal: And so what if I did?
Tal: Not that there's anything wrong with that!
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