For the remainder of the Reaper Bones reviews, Talien AKA Tal (the satyr paladin) and Maleficent AKA Mal (the half-fey/half-fiend sorceress) will review familiars as part of a new series, "That Familiar Show," sort of a fantasy dog show. In this installment, they review the ferret.
Mal: In today's "That Familiar Show" we're talking ferrets, the domesticated form of the European Polecat, a mammal belonging to the weasel genus of the family Mustelidae. They also--
Tal: Ferrets! I love 'em!
Mal: You really shouldn't. They're smelly and ferocious. As with skunks, ferrets can release their anal gland secretions when startled or scared.
Tal: Pfft! "Anal gland secretions"? Please! Ferret smells aren't as bad as skunks.
Mal: That is...that is quite the compliment, huh? "You're a filthy, biting creature but hey, could be worse, you don't smell as bad as a skunk."
Tal: You have a ferret bias! Ferrets (which uses the same stats as weasels in D&D) provide a +2 bonus to Reflex saves to their master. Haven't you seen "Beastmaster?" Kodo and Podo? They're so darn cute!
Mal: On screen. Did you forget that one time when my roommate's ferret nearly bit through your thumbnail?
Tal: "It was just a flesh wound!"
Mal: Quoting Monty Python isn't getting you out of this one. But your reference to ferrets as thieves is apt. Did you know the name "ferret" is derived from the Latin furittus, meaning "little thief", a likely reference to the common ferret penchant for secreting away small items?
Tal: I did not know that!
Mal: I've got to say though, a familiar at this scale looks...he looks small.
Tal: Like an adorable little thief?
Mal: Like a tilde.
Tal: I think I'll buy two!
You can purchase this miniature at Amazon.
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