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Passion Play lacks everything

Passion Play

Rating:
Star1
Star
Star
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Star

Wow. There was so much wrong with this movie that it's difficult to know where to begin. Directed by Mitch Glazer Passion Play was full of hope with stars like Mickey Rourke and Bill Murray. Megan Fox must've been chosen for her hot looks and the fact that her backside looks good in fluffy white panties that creep up her crack because she didn't deliver much else to the movie. However, fans of the two male actors are sure to be disappointed even with their roles. Their performances were fine but it should be pretty easy to play characters who have no real character.

The title of the movie still boggles the mind. Where was the passion? Was it supposed to be in the unbelievable scene where a young, voluptuous, sexy virgin makes love to a ruggedly plain (nearing on ugly actually) man who's old enough to be her father or even perhaps her grandfather? Perhaps if he had more charisma or more character it might have worked. He did "rescue" her after all. Despite the fact that she was the one who took initiative to steal a truck, save him from being murdered, and drive away from the freak show. This rescuing business has some seriously blurred lines.

Bill Murray has been type cast yet again as an emotionless, dry person. Whatever happened to his upbeat role as a Ghostbuster? What's with all these dry characters he's been playing for years now? Unfortunately, Bill Murray as a practically decrepit, much feared, and very powerful gangster isn't believable at all.

No matter how sweet Megan Fox tries to appear on camera, nothing can cover up what she is on the inside. Beauty is only skin deep after all. And her sweet innocence and naivety here appear more like she's missing half her brain or is merely putting on an act to get what she wants.

One thing about Fox's wings - those flimsy little things are not nearly big enough to carry her and a big man like Rourke. The thought is absolutely ridiculous. And hair usually moves more than a little in a strong wind.

Usually, Mickey Rourke would be interesting to watch but not here. How women could think him charismatic here is a mystery because he comes across as just bland, weathered, almost socially inept, and weak. Is that a recipe for charisma? And as for his ability to fake playing a trumpet, aren't people's cheeks supposed to puff out when they play a trumpet? It looks as if he has no air in his lungs when he plays and the tunes (not his fault of course) aren't nearly good enough to send anyone into brainless raptures like it did with Fox's character.

If you decide to see this movie, be prepared to waste about an hour and a half of your precious life.

Passion Play gets a dismal 1 out of 5 stars.

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