If you’re the kind of person who thinks, “Oh, that could never happen in real life” while watching movies, then “This Means War” is going to have you drawing battle lines for two hours. Better to just accept that this there isn’t a single realistic second in this Rom-Com/Action mash-up. Not even a hint of human authenticity.
That said, director McG has manufactured a product designed to be a good “date movie,” and many couples will see it without complaint. Car crashes and shoot ‘em ups for the guys, two good looking guys and the non-threatening Reese Witherspoon for the girls (do guys still find the now almost asexual Mama Reese sexy?)
The premise: two CIA agents, played by Tom Hardy (who was great in “Inception) and Chris Pine are buddies who always have each other’s back, but when they turn to Internet dating and somehow both end up dating Reese Witherspoon, it means…well, yes, it means War. The two dudes do everything possible to win Reese’s heart, while simultaneously using their secret agent skills to ruin the other guy’s chances. This involves tedious scenes and predictable outcomes best left unexplained here.
Meanwhile, Reese’s character is someone who rates and researches consumer products for a living. Will her good eye and gut for what’s quality and what’s not help her in choosing a man? A gentleman must not say. I’d love to know how her character, and a focus group, would have rated this movie?
It’s not the worst movie that will come out this year (that distinction might belong to Nic Cage’s “Ghost Rider” sequel, which was not screened for critics) but it certainly isn’t any better than about two and a half stars. What you see in the trailer is what you get—happy date night.
And what’s up with Reese Witherspoon? After winning an Oscar for 2005’s “I Walk The Line,” she’s been in a cluster of bombs. She’s an abundantly talented and intelligent actress with many available options and….she chooses a movie like this?
That would never happen in real life.
“This Means War” is rated PG-13 and is playing in area theaters.
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