You pretty much know what to expect when you walk into a “Transformers” movie: car chases, robots fighting, and large buildings exploding. “Transformers: Age of Extinction” has all of that…again, and again, and again.
Director Michael Bay’s attempt at a plot goes something like this: Cade Yeager (Mark Wahlberg), a loser inventor, with a daughter who looks like a stripper (Nicola Pelz), hits pay dirt when he buys an old eighteen wheeler truck that turns out to be Optimus Prime. Prime (who is the chief Autobot) is now a fugitive and must find any of the other surviving Autobots from the planned onslaught of a secret CIA task force run by Harold Attinger (Kelsey Grammer). This is about as far as you will be able to follow the movie on a coherent basis.
Another inventor, Joshua Joyce (Stanley Tucci), has apparently figured out the Transformer genome and invented the Galvatron: A Transformer clone that is possessed by something called a Megatron. Unfortunately for Optimus, the Galvatron, and a group of antagonists called Decepticons all want the Autobots dead. In the meantime, Optimus wants to know why the Creators are trying to kill everybody. There is also some kind of nonsense about some magic seed that will destroy everything, but it is so sublimely stupid that I won’t even go there.
I sat in the theater for nearly three hours watch car chases, robot rumbles, and cities blowing up while looking at my watch and praying for the movie to end. The only redeeming factor was the 3D special effects. This movie is outright terrible and a waste of time. Save your money and take your family to Six Flags.
Reviewers Note: Just in case you’re wondering, Chicago gets blown up again, and then Shanghai thrown in for good measure.
My Rating: 2 of 5 Transborers.