I wasn’t sure what to expect when I rented Ted from Redbox yesterday, but after watching it there is one thing I can tell you for sure: Don’t let your kids bring this disc into the house because it is an obscene, vulgar movie with very few laughs.
John Bennett is a lonely eight-year old living in Boston who deeply desires the companionship of a friend. When his parents give him a teddy bear for Christmas (who gives an eight-year old a teddy bear?), John wishes that his new friend could come to life. In the morning Ted pulls a Harvey on John and actually begins to walk and talk. Ted quickly becomes a celebrity and even appears on the Johnny Carson Show, but soon the celebrity wears off and Ted is just nothing but a talking teddy bear.
Zoom fast forward and thirty-five year old John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) is now roommates with the foul-mouthed, beer-slugging, pot-smoking, unemployed Ted (voiced by director Seth MacFarlane). Ted has become a cynical cretin that is destroying John’s relationship with his girlfriend Lori (Mila Kunis), who has hopes for a future with John. When Lori finally gives John the ultimatum “it’s either me or the bear,” Ted is forced to move into his own apartment and this is where the movie actually has a few good laughs. The big question is whether Ted’s pernicious behavior will still sway his best bud John.
I can see where a few teenagers under the influence in a dorm room might think this movie is hilarious, but that is about it. I will admit that there are a couple of scenes in the movie, including one where Ted and John get in a fistfight which had me on the floor. The rest of the movie is extremely vile, with language usage that would embarrass Tony Soprano. (Rated R for vulgarity, drug use, and sexual innuendo.)
My Rating: 2 of 5 Foul-Mouthed Teddy Bears.