THE PLOT:
Claire (Julie Bowen) sends Haley (Sarah Hyland) to talk to Alex (Ariel Winter) about a boy but Haley tells her to kiss the boy or he'll think Alex is a lesbian. Haley had her first kiss at 11! Unfortunately Alex goes right to the boy's house and tries to kiss him in front of all his friends.
Gloria (Sofia Vergara) cooks a traditional Colombian meal for everyone in honor of her late grandmother. After Jay (Ed O'Neill) teases her, she makes up some ridiculous "Colombian traditions" like having Jay slap and shriek at the chicken. Ha!
Jay asks Phil (Ty Burrell) to help him with a computer problem which he solves after four hours. At dinner Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) complains about Mitchell's (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) aversion to public displays of affection. Gloria and Claire point out that Mitchell learned that from Jay who is not demonstrative at all. Finally Jay agrees to kiss Mitchell and hug Claire.
FUNNIEST BITS:
"I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high five. Two, gays don't high five." –- Cameron on Mitchell's fear of PDA
"Your kids don’t need to know who you were before you had them; they need to know who you wish you were, and try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better they fall short of the fake you than the real you." –- Claire tells her kids she was a good girl.
"Was that before or after you were delivered to my door in a squad car wearing nothing but your underwear and a police hat." –- Jay with the truth of Claire's youth.
"The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk/ Command P makes the picture walk, walk, walk." -- Phil's helpful computer song.
"Phil, I'm going to get a beer, beer, beer before I hit you in the head, head, head." –Jay's reaction to Phil's helpful computer song.
"Oh it's fine, it was only four hours. I tipped over a paint can, and threw up a little. I think 'thanks' just about covers it." –Phil's disappointment with Jay's simple "Thank you"
Cameron falling over the couch when going in for an aborted kiss with Mitchell.
"So who's a better kisser, me or your dad? -- Cameron to which Mitchell replies "Eww".
What did you think, Durham?
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