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‘LA Hair’ recap: ‘Chair Battle Royale’ I’ll whip your head back and forth

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'LA Hair'

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Kim Kimble, hair stylist to the stars, and her madcap staff are back for season three of “LA Hair.” Previously on last season, “hair majesty” Kim had to kick Angela out of the mane castle. You simply can’t have two queens. Kim fired Angela with the smoothness and clip of a beveling iron. She told Angela in soft measured tones how talented she was and then clipped the girl’s career at Kimble Hair Studio with a “so you’re free to go spread your wings elsewhere” speech.

This season, Kim has upgraded the salon and expects to see an upgrade in the attitudes of her staff. Everyone loves the new look, well everyone except for Dontay who hasn’t seen it yet because he’s out with Angela scouring the streets for a spot of their own. This is a venture of Dontay’s that Kim knows nothing about. Kim, by the way, is over at actress Gabrielle Union’s house getting her all prettied up for a photo shoot.

Time begins to fly and a client arrives at the hair studio looking for Dontay. He’s not there and when he does finally show up, he and the client nearly engage in a shouting match over the woman’s dandruff filled scalp and his tardiness. Dontay’s cavalier attitude is clearly enhanced by the drinks gulped down earlier.

Former supermodel, Janice “Don’t touch me because I’m engaged” Dickinson, drops by for…aw heck, the works. She repeatedly tells Jose not to touch her, but later screams for him to come and work out the cramp in her thigh. Hilarious stuff. Terry suspects it’s her Botox that’s really cramped up. Even though Janice asked Jose to perform these “other duties unassigned,” Leah fires him anyway. It seems Jose is not skilled in avoiding inappropriate situations.

With Jose gone, Jasmine summons Anthony back to the receptionist desk. Unhappy about the temporary switch, he deems the act unfair and compares it to “12 Years as a Slave” reversed.

Erstwhile employee Angela storms into the salon giving Dontay the-what-for. She is ready-set-go in regards to opening her own salon and Dontay has not been returning her calls or texts. Not long afterwards, Kim walks up demanding to know what is going on while Dontay stands there like a man caught by his wife and his mistress.

Kim and Angela exchange a few un-pleasantries, which prompts Angela to gleefully tell Kim about Dontay’s plans to partner up with her. “Oh really,” Kims’s eyebrows seem to say. Dontay is still standing there, tail between his legs, cat gone off with his tongue, nowhere to go.

Later that evening, Lisa the new barber with the ample derriere and Adam’s apple (based on Dontay’s insinuations) sashays into the salon. Take no prisoners but take any station you want is the scent she immediately gives off. So Lisa takes Anthony’s station, no questions asked. The already dissatisfied Anthony is now even more upset and the episode ends with the two of them coming to blows over the coveted chair. Will this hair and beauty queen ever be able to keep her royal subjects in line?

Tune into the next hair raising episode of “LA Hair” on Thursday at 9:00 PM on WeTV.

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