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Keel-hauled at the Pirates Dinner Adventure, Argh!

Rough as a pirate!
Rough as a pirate!
Chris Tice

Pirates Dinner Adventure, Orlando

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Having received a complimentary voucher for the Pirate’s Dinner Adventure this past spring after my appearances at the Orange County Convention Center we finally found time to cash them in. After the kids were released from their educational commitment for the year, the wife and I made a reservation for the show looking forward to an evening of adult entertainment.

Being familiar with Medieval Times on 192, I had seen the small Pirates theater hidden astride the madness that is International Drive. Getting there from south Orlando along John Young is never too much of a hassle so my date and I arrived a few minutes before six to bask in the kid free atmosphere. As we walked along the well-worn path I noticed the disrepair that had befallen the place. Weathered paint and battered props littered the lawn, and as we walked past their closed doors to find a watering hole I refrained from taking a selfie in front of the ornamental ship adorning the lawn. It was obvious the deck hadn’t been swabbed in years and I couldn’t muster a reason to take further shots at its tattered sails.

Across the street we stopped for a couple drinks in the Friday's lounge, and as we cheered USA’s goal on Portugal we checked yelp reviews to see what other people thought of our upcoming entertainment. I don’t rely heavily on online opinions, but as the poor reviews continued to pile up we began to worry, so as a precaution we ordered a couple of appetizers to help tame our hunger before the show.

A couple beers later we noticed a line of people starting to form across the street, so settling our check we popped ourselves over to the show. The crowd seemed somber as we waited and I wondered if they had seen the same reviews I did, but I was pumped to see what the show entailed because even the food at Medieval isn’t really that great but it’s entertaining. Talking like a pirate to pass the time, to the high annoyance of my wife, we finally got to the front where the woman behind the glass told us the voucher was no longer being honored even though it didn’t expire till the end of the month.

Well I didn’t know what to say. As we turned and walked back toward the parking lot I became perturbed. We had called ahead and told them we had a comp ticket but they never informed us that the certificates were no longer being accepted. I called the number on the ticket to give them a piece of my mind but the courteous voice on the other end told me he wasn’t aware of this change and to return to talk to a manager. I walked past the line of people gathered and quietly asked the young lady to see said manager and she directed me to a woman inside who I informed of our predicament. She disappeared to the back supposedly to call the Vice President of the show so we waited a few moments till she returned.

Well according to her they don’t accept any more of their issued certificates, and since I didn’t care to make a scene we got our five dollar parking fee refunded and went back to Fridays. The soccer game was good and so was our dinner so I’d chalk up date night as a success.