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With no high priced stars, more animation than location and no clever script or arresting costumes, the $200 million price tag doesn’t amount to a hill of beans here.
"Jack the Giant Slayer:" is, on the surface, a noisy concoction of extreme violence and action. The giants are ugly, nose-picking oafs with bad oral hygiene and a knack for plucking and eating humans like strawberries.
In "Jack the Giant Slayer," even the orchestration is overwhelming. Here it exists as a cruel and intense accomplice to the harrowing and destructive images of destruction by, yes, a beanstalk.
Nicholas Hoult in the leading role is fresh off an outstanding turn in the quirky and touching "Warm Bodies." Sadly he has nothing required of him here nor of the the always clever Stanley Tucci and talented Ewan McGregor in supporting roles.
But a big budget payday rarely coincides with an emotional payoff. And this film is no different. Though ears aching certainly is...
In the hands of director Bryan Singer, this beanstalk doesn’t just grow and support a tender story (good luck finding the original online) it annihilates everything and everyone in its path with sounds that scream and screech at decibels trumpeting a cataclysmic urgency. The theme doesn't require it. Even the love story is barely a niblet.
On another level, it seems this is just one more gentle fairytale rewritten into a violent theme with horrific images.
Thus far, Hansel and Gretel wandered off the gingerbread path to be recast as “witch hunters” and now 'Jack and the Beanstalk' is "Jack the Giant Slayer." The American version of Santa and the Easter bunny was obliterated in "The Rise of the Guardians" and recently Snow White traded her seven endearing dwarfs for a violent 'Huntsman.' And while little men can certainly stab someone (in the knee in a pinch), apparently that isn’t nearly disturbing enough for whomever is arranging this ongoing fairytale apocalypse.
Makes you wonder what kind of liberties were taken with world history along the way.
There was a time when parents everywhere shielded their children from violent and intense themes and images. The media was called out if inappropriate re-tellings were within earshot of children (hence 10 p.m. news and shows with adult themes were late night).
Now, the slaughter of innocent fairytales is nearly complete.
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