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How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days Review

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days

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This movie made me so angry that I came out of retirement to write this article. Before I continue, it's time to get rid of a common knee-jerk response, which is "you just don't like romantic-comedies/chick-flicks/rom-coms/you're too cynical." Okay, all true. That being said, this movie sucks, a lot.

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days stars Matthew McConaughey, Kate Hudson, and Matthew McConaughey's accent. Respectively, they play characters named Andie Anderson and Benjamin Barry because the writers looked at the list of the alphabet and went in order and then got too lazy to come up with better names. It doesn't matter though, because these two people are very redeemable likable characters, especially when they are habitual liars to each other for 99% of the time until Benjamin stops Andie on the bridge and they kiss at the end of the movie. Whoops.

The movie begins with some excellent character-development for Andie, who works as a journalist for some stupid magazine. But wait! Andie's different. And how do we know this? Because when the magazine's employees are brainstorming a bunch of nonsense, like fashion or whatever, she goes, "Can I write about politics?" or something that sounds equally forced. Man. This one is a smarty-pants. She wants to write about "politics." What kind of politics, you might ask? Who knows, because nobody asked. But it's good that they plant the seed to the viewer that she has integrity.

The way that this one has integrity is by taking on a task of using a man as a guinea pig because she writes "how to" articles, so the article she's writing is "how to lose a guy in 10 days" (a character in the movie actually says the title of the movie in that scene, which should've consisted of a zoom-in on her useless face). You might be wondering how the movie portrays losing a guy in 10 days. Well, it's absolutely hilarious. You need to do a bunch of annoying things like ask for a soda during "THE GAME" man! NOT DURING "THE GAME"! Oh my god, all guys LOVE the game! She does a bunch of other things, too, like takes him to a Celine Dion concert, because ew. Celine Dion? Man, how did she know how to make a guy hate her so much? I guess it's because the writers picked a bunch of lists out of the "cliche things that women think that men hate" hat and made comedy gold out of it.

Equally likable is Benjamin Barry, played by Matthew McConaughey, who apparently took a break from his regular roles to really find his range as an actor by making a rare appearance in a romantic-comedy. And since he's an ad-man, there's no way he's going to take his shirt off for no reas--oh, that happens in the first 5 minutes or so. He takes his shirt off in the office, because that's very appropriate to do and you won't ever get fired for that. This guy does something for diamonds, I'm not really sure because I didn't pay attention at that part, and he's trying to prove a point by saying he can make any woman fall in love with him. The movie gives him lines as to why he thinks he can make any woman fall for him, and not a single one points out that it's probably because he's one of the best-looking men that has ever existed in the past 11 billion years, or six-thousand years depending on what you believe in. And he thinks he can make a woman fall in love with him in....TEN DAYS!

What a weird coincidence that they each have a deadline of ten days. It's not contrived or convuluted at all. And also, talk about throwing gas on the fire! With them each having a deadline of ten days, it's time for a human chess game to see who wins! It's too bad that it's impossible to root for these two LIARS to get together in any type of reality, because they never got to know each other at all.

How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days teaches you a very important lesson in life, though: it is okay for the foundation of a relationship to be built on lies as long as the two people involved in that relationship are very, very hot.

By the way, not all "rom-coms" are bad, for crying-out-loud, and it needs to be said that some so-called "chick-flicks" are excellent, so please no more of the "oh you just don't like it because you're a guy" psychobabble, which would be as dumb as me loving a horrendous action movie and telling a woman "oh that's because you're a weird girl and I'm a cool guy so let's watch the game and watch guns shooting and drink beer and eat a pizza and blahblahblah." For instance, Love Actually and When Harry Met Sally are great romantic-comedies, and, unlike How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, did not leave rock-sized imprints on my television after I was done watching them.

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