I don't feel I should get many accolades for writing these blogs. I mean let's face it, nobody wants to talk about HIV. I know I don't and I certainly do not enjoy having this disease. As if life isn't hard enough for those who are worried about work, sick days left, car insurance, bills, neighbor's. It can all get to be a bit much there's no doubt about it and I get it. HIV is not a hot topic in any venue regardless. I remember when I was working it was the last thing on my mind and to this day I hate thinking about it. It's on my mind all the time, especially when I have to take 3 pills a day which further breakdown my teeth which are already suffering due to salivary gland disease which I now have. Going to the dentist is different for HIV positives, there is always a problem, cavities, teeth extractions, xrays which on every visit show less teeth. Its not fun and I dont believe anyone in their right mind would be interested in this illness except researchers and doctors.
So, yes I don't believe its a fun topic, I think it sucks and its harder if you know you have it but nobody else knows you do.. At times Ill sleep and dream I was the way I used to be only to wake up realizing...yep I still have HIV. Same problems, same meds in the bathroom cabinet, a daily reminder that Im different now. But to know me you would never guess, Im 210, almost 6 foot and my body has recovered somewhat from what it was 5 years ago when I was 160 lbs and hooked up to IVs for 3 weeks from menengitis. So, all is not lost but I wonder if anyone reads my blog or even cares. I would hope maybe Im helping someone out there. Maybe in my next life (if there is one) Ill make better choices and become a blog writer for sailboating or drag racing. Till next time.