As a revenue stream, the 'Pirates of the Caribbean' series is almost untouchable. They draw in audiences like few franchises in history have before. As a viewing experience, it's hard to deny that they have been a case of diminishing returns. With the original storyline complete, what else is there to say? 'Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides' checks the pulse of the series to see if Captain Jack Sparrow has any more adventures worth getting into.
During a daring rescue attempt of his first mate Gibbs (Kevin McNally), Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is captured and presented to King George II (Richard Griffiths). He is told that he must find the Fountain of Youth under the leadership of Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush). Barbossa has sold out and is working for the Royal Navy. He has also lost the Black Pearl some time ago under mysterious circumstances.
Always the rebel, Jack escapes from this and after an extended and quite unnecessary chase, he encounters his father, Captain Teague (Keith Richards) who gives him some back story about the Fountain. There is also someone impersonating Jack, recruiting men for a mission on the high seas. This pseudo-Jack turns out to be Angelica (Penelope Cruz), an old flame of Jack's and Blackbeard's (Ian McShane) daughter.
Jack goes along with Angelica aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge and guides Blackbeard's crew to the required silver chalices which once belonged to Ponce de Leon. There is also a ritual involved to properly get the intended life-giving results. Besides the chalices, the group needs to acquire a tear from a mermaid.
At the same time, Barbossa looks for the Fountain under the not-so-willing guidance of Gibbs.
Will the crews actually find what they are looking for? Will they converge and kill each other? Will they survive all of the dangers in their path? Will Jack and Angelica reconnect? Is Blackbeard really as ruthless as his reputation?
First and foremost, the only reason that this film exists is to make money. You can make the case that this is why most movies are made, but a franchise this profitable is especially mindful of this. The original story has been told, so we are left with a victory lap that doesn't include half of the original characters. Captain Jack was always the wild card, fun personified, while everyone else had their stories to tell. By this, the fourth story, Jack is left to handle the story on his own. That's not how the character is best-suited.
The whole 'Angelica is impersonating Jack Sparrow' is a silly point that is emphasized for the first half hour. How could pirates, as drunken and as uneducated as they are, mistake Penelope Cruz in a bad fake beard and a slightly similar outfit think that she was the real thing? Doesn't she have to talk to them to convince them? How can they ignore the feminine voice and the strong accent?
How would the Fountain of Youth help Blackbeard to avoid his prophecised demise at the hands of a one-legged pirate (Barbossa, as he lost a leg since the last film)? If you get killed with a sword or a gun or something like that, it doesn't matter how young you are made. The point that time is made to be a factor in the film doesn't really add up.
It's nice to know that the script really went all-out with the complex terminology and original ideas. Some of the crew is 'zombified.' Spooky! The script is probably the weakest thing here. Captain Jack has some nice one-liners and Depp goes through all of the motions with the appropriate aplomb? Then again, if I was paid $55 million to act in a movie, I would try my best to make it look good, as well. Besides the familiar elements, the story itself and details within it are the film's true failing. Everyone is awkwardly reintroduced and trotted out again. Then, we are supposed to buy a halfhearted story that requires all of their services.
Speaking of halfhearted: the film opens with hints about Spanish royalty wanting to find the Fountain of Youth. They are briefly mentioned in passing in the middle and then show up en masse at the very end to contribute to a huge fracas. That is the most glaring offense in a film full of points that are just indelicately crammed.
The fact that the story is streamlined isn't really a bad thing. Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) and Will (Orlando Bloom) had long since worn out their welcomes by the third movie and it's a matter of addition by subtraction with them. Actually, that can be said about much of the secondary cast of that disastrous third movie 'At World's End.' Jack Sparrow was the only interesting character out of all of the protagonists. Captain Barbossa is always nice to see thanks to Rush and it's good to have a clean slate. So while Cruz is alright (if you get down to it, her character doesn't have much to do except get Jack on board, have some father-daughter moments with Blackbeard and reminisce with Jack), McShane seems right at home as Blackbeard. This has always been a series that has skated by more on the charisma of its characters than its stories. They are able to muster up just enough of that charisma to keep this disc from being used as a coaster.
The different interpretation of mermaids is certainly an admirable leap by Disney. Rather than being beautiful, harmless creatures, they are now beautiful, extremely deadly creatures. Their huge fight scene is one of the most memorable parts of the film. Take that Ariel! It's almost too bad that the crew has to capture one of them and have the deadly dull missionary character, Philip Swift (Sam Claflin) fall in love with her.
Special features include: only some bloopers and a Lego animated short in the one disc edition. As with most Disney items, you get the bare minimum with the one disc but the real special features are reserved for Blu Ray and more extensive editions.
'Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides' has a lot wrong with it. On the bright side, it's slightly less rough to watch than the third installment. So while it's not necessary and at this point, it's merely pandering to what the filmmakers think the audience expects/wants, there is still a tiny bit of charm left in the franchise.
It's incredibly painful to give this film a 3 out of 5, because it doesn't really deserve it. It is more like a 2 ½ out of 5, but isn't as bad as a 2. You have been warned.
Rated PG-13 136 minutes 2011
'Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides' is available to rent/purchase in Allentown, the Lehigh Valley and beyond.
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