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DVD Movie Review of "The Bag Man"

The Bag Man
O'Callaghan

The Bag Man

Rating:
Star2
Star
Star
Star
Star

What is the “gag in the bag?” I am not exactly sure, but Robert De Niro and John Cusack must be extremely bored with their lives nowadays. First time Director David Grovic’s “The Bag Man,” is a cross-hybrid between a third rate version of “Pulp Fiction” and a retarded adaptation of “Psycho.”

Jack (Cusack), a man whose wife was recently murdered, is a hired gun looking for something to do. Somehow Jack hooks up with Dragna (De Niro), a viscous, yet loquacious crime boss, who has just the kind of work to take Jack’s mind off of things. Jack’s mission: Retrieve a leather bag, transport it to specified hotel, and check into room 13 until further noticed; but never, ever, look into the bag.
Jack decides to take the mission for what is apparently a large amount of booty, but we all know things will get complicated. Before Jack even gets to the hotel, someone tries to kill him and in the process gets shot in the hand; but that is the least of his problems. When he arrives at the “Norman Bates” suites hotel, he is greeted at reception by some long-haired creep in a wheelchair that appears to be under the influence of Quaaludes. After a lengthy argument on the merits of cash versus credit cards, the clerk finally gives Jack the key to room 13. Before Jack can even sit down there are people bothering him: There two suspicious guys in the adjoining room looking for a corkscrew, a Russian midget (who actually is Serbian-Roma), a pimp who looks like a black “Captain Jack,” and of course, a six foot hooker with blue hair. To complicate things there are also a couple of county sheriffs who want to know why Jack is staying at the hotel and why his hand is bleeding profusely.
What is it exactly that all these people want? Could it be the contents of the bag? Give me a break.

My Rating: 2 out of 5 Feeble Gags in a Bag.