Django is horrible.
It's a waste of time and money and good energy. The good energy being those that walk in, get smattered by inexplicable, silly, cartoonish violence, bad plot, indiscernible storyline and some really bad acting.
Jamie Foxx is unbelievable as Django, the slave who could score Broomhilda (Kerry Washington) or keep her bilingual self with his monosyllabic dribble. His instantaneous dead-eye shooting skills from the first time he picks up a gun defies explanation. Even in a cartoon.
Then there is DiCaprio. Not much going there. He plays Mr. Candy, a cruel plantation owner.
And the second villain, oddly enough, is Stephen, a black slave played by Tarantino go-to guy Samuel L Jackson. Jackson's character is far more horrifying because he seeks to slaughter and abuse his own with the same lip smacking relish as Mr. Candy.
It's disgusting. Not funny. Not dramatic. Just abysmal.
Even the perfectly realized character of Dr. King Schultz played with panache by Christoph Waltz can't shake the lack of possibility that (perhaps in some alternate universe) a white man would resist taking advantage of his new slave accomplice but instead elevate him in every possible way. Dr. Schultz showers his new comrade with clothes, a horse -- and second hand invitations to salons and astonished plantation owners' dinner tables.
Yes. It is that ludicrous. But Waltz is the prize in this picture. His Dr. Schultz consistently displays a shining and adroit verbal dexterity, a class and consistency that suggest maybe Tarantino only had that nugget of dialogue in him and the good doctor saw it and ran with it.
In a scene where Django and his wife (he, duded out and she a vision in a starched white top) are on horses trotting into the sunset, it comes to mind slaves or emancipated slaves were rarely on horses then let alone wearing fancy outfits.
The next thought is good luck with that you two. And that maybe it would be a mile before someone off the 'Deliverance' set used them for target practice.
My colleague said flatly as we left: "Well there's three hours of my life I can never get back."
Django is a "don't go." The "D" is not silent. It is a big, red, neon, flashing letter.